


Just Best Friends

by damianwayne



Series: Not Just Something [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:09:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5833714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damianwayne/pseuds/damianwayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kyle confesses his love to Stan in a fight on their prom night and is turned down, the best friends stop talking to each other. One single High School reunion three years later of silence brings them back together and forces the both of them to rethink the past years and more importantly, their feelings for each other.</p><p>(companion story to 'just a childhood crush', doesn't need to be read too)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You and David?" Kenny patted Kyle's shoulder. "He's a sweet piece. I didn't even know he's playing for the other team."
> 
> "He isn't," Stan said. "He's on my football team."
> 
> Everyone stared at Stan for a moment, until he understood the reference, blushing hard. "I mean- oh. David's... gay? Or..." He cleared his throat. "I didn't know that!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think in the A/N in 'just a childhood crush' and in 'just a prom night' i wrote so often how i want to write this style story? because the style part of JACC was LITERALLY the reason i started writing the fic (yeah i first got that idea before i got the idea for the creek storyline lmao). anyway, here i am. 
> 
> as for those that are new: YOU DONT NEED TO READ JACC OR JAPM!!! this is pretty much a standalone. also i plan on this to have about ??? 10 chapters? its not very long, i know, i'm sorry.

**STAN**

Some people were afraid of the future.

Stan wasn't one of those. Sure, he was nervous and anxious about it, but he had Kyle by his side. He didn't have to be afraid when Kyle was next to him. Of course he was scared if he doesn't get into his dream college, because he wouldn't know what else to do.

Stan really didn't feel like going to CSU, he wanted to get out of South Park and out of Colorado. There was almost nothing holding him back here, except for Kyle and Wendy. Well, and of course Kenny.

And Kyle would follow him wherever he goes, just like Stan would follow Kyle. It was out of question that those two boys would be together forever. As stupid and childish it may sound, Stan still referred to him as his 'Super Best Friend' and vice versa.

When their last year in high school began, Kyle was sitting next to Stan in his old car. Stan had gotten a used car from his parents to his sixteenth birthday and to be honest, he didn't care much about it. He wasn't like Kyle, who gave his new white car a stupid name and treated it like his own child. Kenny was in the backseat, searching for something in his backpack. He was quite loud about it, so after a while, Kyle groaned.

"What are you searching for?"

"Condoms," Kenny replied. Kyle groaned again and then turned back to Stan. They exchanged quick glances, grinning and rolling their eyes. Stan liked these short moments, when he and Kyle looked at each other and could read the other's mind. Kyle knew everything about him and he knew everything about Kyle and that was good.

They reached the school and Stan parked at the first free spot he could find. He also already saw Wendy, who was waiting for him. They haven't seen each other for a long time, since she spent her holidays at her relatives in New York.

Stan walked out of the car and right into her arms.Of course he had missed her, but being around his friends had made the weeks without her not so bad. They hugged, her face buried in his shoulder and when they parted, she smiled at him and cupped his face in her hands before pulling him down for a kiss. Stan couldn't help but smile too, as he kissed her back, rather eagerly, open-mouthed and full on tongue. Wendy shoved him away.

"Stan, you know what I think about PDA," she said and Stan laughed.

"Yeah, I know... We just haven't seen each other for a long time," he explained. Wendy laughed, shaking her head. Then, her eyes darted to Kyle, who was standing next to Stan.

"Hey, Kyle! It's nice to see you. Where's Kenny?"

Kyle shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he's hanging somewhere with Lexus." Lexus and Kenny had started a physical relationship during the summer holidays.

"Well, I should go say hello to Bebe. What's your first class?"

"Math." Stan winced. What a beautiful way to start the year!

"Well, I have AP Physics with Mrs. Jenkins, I should get going. Don't want to be late when it comes to her," Kyle said, but Wendy grabbed his arm.

"Hey, me too! Let's go there together! Wait for me, okay? I just need to say hello to Bebe really quickly. Trust me, it won't take long. She'll kill me if she finds out I've gone to class before saying hello." Wendy grinned and Kyle sighed.

"Okay, but hurry up."

"Stan, your best friend is the best, do you know that?" Wendy beamed at her boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek before running off.

Stan turned to Kyle and grinned. "The super best," Stan corrected. Kyle laughed, his cheeks blushing from the compliments. It was kind of cute. He punched Stan lightly.

"If I'm too late to my first class because of your girlfriend then you owe me one."

"I'll give you a super best hug," Stan joked, winking at Kyle, who punched him again.

"Shut up, dude."

 

* * *

* * *

 

**KYLE**

On the last day of holidays, Kyle had not wanted to see Stan.

It hurt to think about that it was over again. He wanted to live in this constant state of summer forever, with Wendy in New York and just the two of them hanging out.

Those had been the best summer holidays of his life. He had feared the first day of school, not like others did. Not because this was his last year and after it everything was done and they'd go to college and leave everything behind. No, because it meant Wendy was back and he had to share Stan again.

His best friend. His crush. _Crush_. It sounded so stupid, so meaningless, so little. It didn't sound nearly as big as his feelings for Stan were.

On his last day, he told himself to get a grip. The weeks were over! Stan had Wendy again! They were going to continue being the stupid sweetheart couple of Park County High and Kyle was nothing else but Stan's best friend. He had to write Stan off. This was his last year, for god's sake! He should live a little instead of just pine after his best friends. He had done that enough, he had done that for almost half of his life.

You just can push yourself to some amount until you can't do it anymore.

So that was his mission for this last year of High School: Forget Stan Marsh. Because if he can't, then there's no way Kyle can follow him to Virginia. They want to share a dorm, but how can he when the one he loves was right there? God, it would be too awkward if he'd somehow pop a boner or something or accidentally moan Stan's name in his sleep.

Kyle's pretty sure he doesn't talk during sleep, but better safe than sorry, right?

Now they were about a month into the new year and it did still hurt to see Stan and Wendy being super cute with each other. Okay, to be honest, they weren't really. Wendy didn't like public display of affection and Kyle was thankful for that. He wouldn't know what to do if Wendy and Stan would suck each other's face off all the time.

It was so fucking cliché, to be honest. The smart guy with glasses (he didn't like to call himself a nerd, he hated that term. Unless Stan called him one, then it was kind of okay), sitting in the bleachers, studying while secretly (or not so secretly) watching the football team train. He claimed he was here because he is waiting for Stan to finish so they can drive home together and does his homework during the free time, but secretly he just stares at Stan.

He was the star of the football team. Park County's football team was a mess. It was horrible and they only win sometimes, but those times were all because of Stan. _His_ Stan with the beautiful number 8 on his back. It had become Kyle's favorite number because he used to be on the basketball team and also had the number 8. He had thought it was destiny, Stan had just thought it was super cool they had the same numbers on their uniforms.

Stan waved and Kyle stood up. He knew that this meant practice was over and he was going to shower now. Kyle really tried not to think about Stan undressing himself and then stepping under the shower. Instead, he gathered all of his stuff and put it into his bag. He walked down from the bleachers and over to the field, where Stan greeted him with a big smile.

"See you in ten," he said.

"Take your time," Kyle replied. God, how was he supposed to forget him, when Stan was looking at him like this? It was impossible!

"Will do, dude. Don't be angry at me later, though."

"What's with them?" Kyle nodded over to some of the players who were still on the field.

"Dunno, they wanna keep practicing some throws. I'm done for today, though. I'm sweaty," Stan said and then walked over to the changing rooms. Kyle sighed and didn't move, patiently waiting for his best friend. His mind wandered off to Stan in the locker room, even though he really tried to fight against it. Then, a football knocked him over.

Kyle immediately fell and hit his head.

"Fuck!", somebody shouted. "That's your fucking fault, Rodriguez!"

"Shut up," another voice snarled back. "You threw the ball! Anyway, we should check up on him."

Kyle groaned, he had his eyes closed, scared of what will happen once he opened them. His head was aching and it felt like his brain was losing thousands of cells.

"Kyle? Are you okay?" Kyle shook his head. Whose voice was that? It sounded so familiar. "Sorry, Kyle. God, I really didn't want to hurt you! I'll take you to the nurse, okay?"

"No," Kyle replied. He opened his eyes and saw David kneeling over him with a worried expression in his face. Kyle stared into David's big brown eyes. "You're cute."

"What?"

"Why have I never noticed that before?"

David laughed. "You've hit your head pretty badly, I can tell. But thanks, you're cute too. Can you stand up?"

"Nah, you have to carry me bridal style like a princess to the nurse." It was sarcasm, but apparently David didn't get it, when he picked up Kyle.

"Fuck! That was a joke, David! You can let me down!"

"Oh." David laughed again and now Kyle did too. He really must have hit his head pretty badly, because instead of letting David go for him to drop him on the ground again, he curled his arms around David's neck.

"Okay, just get me out of here." He _really_ didn't want to Stan to see him like this.

 

* * *

 

"Alright, where were you yesterday?" It was the first time they saw each other today. Kyle had a free class this morning and drove to school with his own car. They've missed each other pretty much all day until now during lunch.

"I told you that you don't need to wait for me," Kyle replied.

"I'm still worried, dude," Stan said. "You're gone and all you do is text me I don't need to wait for you. And then you don't text or call me back all day!"

"Oh, lover's quarrel?" Kenny grinned from the left side of Kyle, who then rolled his eyes.

"No, I hit my head."

Cartman burst out in laughter. "Man, that's the best thing I've heard so far! I wish I would've seen it!"

"Shut up, fatass," Kyle gnarled back.

"Are you okay, Kyle?", Butters asked him and Kyle nodded quickly. Sure, he had a big bump now, which still hurt when he touched it, but it was alright. Nobody could see it anyway, because his ushanka and full hair was hiding it. For the first time Kyle was glad to have his hair like this.

"Dude, you hit your head and didn't want me to be worried? Fuck, what happened?" Stan was concerned. Too concerned. Kyle hated it, because even though Stan had every right to be, because they were best friends, he also didn't have the right. How dare he look at Kyle like this?!

"It's okay," Kyle replied quickly. "I went to the nurse straight after it. No brain damage."

Cartman scoffed. "There's nothing much to damage in your Jew brain."

Before Kyle could yell back something, somebody stopped next to their table. David in his letterman jacket and with his big smile and brown eyes. "Hey. I hope you're better now?"

Kyle looked up to him and smiled. "Yeah. Thanks again, man."

"No problem. I mean, it was kind of my fault."

"No, it wasn't. That other guy threw the ball."

"I didn't catch it."

"It's okay, I'm not made out of sugar. Plus, you're making it up to me, right?"

David grinned. Kyle had discovered yesterday that he had dimples. Why had he never looked at this boy like that before? He was really gorgeous. "Of course. See you later, okay? My friends are giving me weird looks."

"Yours are too," Kenny said and David laughed.

"Okay, bye."

"I'll call you!" David ran off and then Kyle turned his attention back to his food. Kenny whistled.

"What the fuck was that?"

"What was _what_?"

"You and David?" Kenny patted Kyle's shoulder. "He's a sweet piece. I didn't even know he's playing for the other team."

"He isn't," Stan said. "He's on my football team."

Everyone stared at Stan for a moment, until he understood the reference, blushing hard. "I mean- oh. David's... gay? Or..." He cleared his throat. "I didn't know that!"

"I'm surrounded by fucking fags," Cartman murmured.

"Okay, Kyle. Let me in, I wanna know how you got into those pants! I mean, not the football player you wanted, but close enough, right?" Kenny grinned and Kyle glared at him. Can he make it even more obvious who he's referring to?!

"It's nothing, he brought me to the nurse's office yesterday. And, uh, we kind of... I don't know if it's a date." Kyle pressed his lips into a thin line and then looked to Stan. Was he jealous? He had to find out! "Well, okay. I think it's a date. You know, David's cute. I never even thought of him like that before but I'm really looking forward to our date."

"Gaaaaay," Cartman whispered, but Kyle ignored him. His eyes were only on Stan. But to his disappointment, Stan started to smile brightly.

"Wow, I'm really happy for you! David's a great guy! He's one of the decent guys from our team. Did you know he's kind of a geek? Anyway, congrats." Stan punched him lightly on the shoulder. "The last year of High School and you finally have a date. Let me know if it's more serious, I'd rather go on double dates with you than with Clyde and Bebe. Clyde loves chick flicks."

No. He was not allowed to be happy about this! He should be jealous, angry, sad! But not _happy_!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw even tho kyle/david are a thing here the endgame OF COURSE is style. david also stops playing a big role after like the fourth chapter so who even cares
> 
> and another one: so davids official last name is teleez but it is never said on the show and he's known as a rodriguez by the marjority of the fandom so i guess i'll just stick to that, okay?


	2. Changing the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's okay." Stan looked up to Kyle and smiled. "I still have you."
> 
> Kyle blushed and Stan grinned, poking Kyle's nose with his. "Dude, you blush too easily."
> 
> "Well, I have fair skin, idiot." Kyle kicked him, his blush darkening.
> 
> "I guess it's cute." Stan shrugged.

**STAN**

"Stan."

Stan sighed, as he heard his girlfriend call out for him. He looked at Wendy, who was standing in front of his car. He couldn't read her expression, her lips pressed together, her arms crossed.

"Oooh, somebody's pissed," Cartman snarled.

"Shut up," Wendy snapped and she turned back to Stan.

"Uh... is it important? I'm kind of talking to Kyle right now," he says.

"You always talk to Kyle!", Wendy replied. Yeah, Cartman was right, she _was_ pissed.

"Yeah, 'cause he's my best friend, duh," Stan replied.

"It's okay," Kyle said. "I was just talking about some useless stuff."

"Dude, Virginia isn't useless," Stan said, grinning. His best friend grinned back and Wendy cleared her throat.

"Stan, it's important."

Stan sighed and nodded. His girlfriend took his arm and by her gentle grab it must mean she wasn't that pissed off. They walked for a little bit until they were sort of alone.

"What is it?"

"I don't want to go on double dates with David and Kyle anymore," she replied.

"What?" Stan furrowed his brows. "Why?!"

"I- You just constantly ignore me. With Clyde it was different-"

"Yeah, you ignored _me_ for your best friend Bebe. Where's the difference?" Stan liked hanging out with his two favorite people in the world.

"The difference is that you and Clyde are friends and you can at least talk with him. I like David, but- we just don't get along that well. We don't _click_ ," Wendy explained.

"Oh." Stan bit down on his lower lip. He and Clyde weren't even that close. "Okay-"

"I'm sorry," Wendy blurted out. "That's not even the reason I wanted to talk to you. I just didn't know what to say! I mean, I do, but..." She looked down.

"Wendy?"

"I want to go to New York."

He was too confused. "Okay... During summer break again? I guess we can go there, if you liked it that much-"

"No, I mean I want to apply to Columbia University."

"Wow." Stan stared at her. Why was he surprised? His girlfriend was fucking smart and perfect. "An Ivy League College."

"Yeah." She smiled at him. "Between Virginia and New York are about eight hours."

"We... can still do it," Stan whispered. It sounded weak and it was. Wendy shook her head.

"We both know we can't. We can barely hold our relationship now and we live in a small town." Wendy took his hand and Stan held his breath. He knew she was right. No matter how much you love someone, long distance relationships were fucking hard. Not impossible, but hard.

There are barely any people in this world where he could think that thousands of kilometers between them wouldn't change their relationship. The only person being Kyle. They just had a special bond that was beyond any distance.

"So, what now?"

"I don't know," Wendy said and hugged him. "We can stay together... Kind of. But let it... slowly fade?"

"Shouldn't we enjoy the time we have left?"

Wendy shook her head. "No, that would just hurt the both of us." She kissed him on his cheek and when she was about to let him go, Stan wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into a kiss.

"I'll miss you," he said.

"I'll miss you too."

* * *

 

Was he sad? Of course he was.

He had seen it coming, though. Wendy hasn't told him where she wanted to go to college, she wanted to keep all her choices open. Many of the colleges she had talked about were near his dream college, so he had thought they might be together after school.

But now that she wants to go to New York (and yes, she'll definitely get in, he believes in her), it's useless to even think about it.

They were just high school sweethearts after all.

"Stan, what did Wendy tell you? You haven't talked for hours now!"

"I have talked," Stan protested.

"Yeah, like three sentences." Kyle huffed and Stan sighed. He leaned on to his best friend who was sitting next to him on the couch. "Dude, what's up? Did she break up again?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." Stan then hugged his best friend.

"Stan!" Kyle sounded embarrassed and when he drew back, Stan just hugged him more, burying his face in the crook of Kyle's neck.

"Just let me," Stan murmured against Kyle's skin. He felt so hot.

"O...Okay."

"Wendy is most likely going to New York. Columbia University."

"She wants to go to the CU? Wow."

"That's what I thought," Stan agreed. Kyle laid his head on Stan's head and then started to stroke his dark hair. He was so happy to have such a good best friend like Kyle, every other guy would've probably freaked out by now. Or, if it was Kenny, would've offered to have sex with him to cheer him up.

"So... You two..."

"Yeah," Stan replied.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Stan looked up to Kyle and smiled. "I still have you."

Kyle blushed and Stan grinned, poking Kyle's nose with his. "Dude, you blush too easily."

"Well, I have fair skin, idiot." Kyle kicked him, his blush darkening.

"I guess it's cute." Stan shrugged. "Anyway, Wendy and I... It was bound to happen, you know? I don't think we're made for each other or something. Just two high school kids fooling around."

Kyle nodded. "I thought you wanted to marry her and have kids with her or something."  
Stan laughed, rolling his eyes. "Nope. I mean, I guess that could've happened in a perfect story. But it won't happen, and I'm okay with it." He tilted his head. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Isn't David going to CSU?"

"Yeah." Kyle closed his eyes and leaned back, his arms now around Stan.

"Have you talked about it?"

"No."

"Oh." Stan smiled. "Kyle?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." Stan squeezed him and Kyle let out a cry.

"Dude, too fucking tight!"

"Sorry." Stan laughed before letting him go and sit back. "Let's end this before we make your boyfriend jealous, shall we?"

"You're an idiot." Kyle rolled his eyes.

As long as Stan had Kyle by his side in college, everything was going to be fine.

 

* * *

* * *

 

**KYLE**

Everything was not fine.

He thought it was. The last few months, Kyle had thought life was going great. Sure, having a boyfriend was kind of a little bit distracting when you were in your last year of High School and all you want is to get good grades, but David was a sweet heart.

He's always nice and supportive and isn't angry when Kyle doesn't have time for him. Does he love him? Yes. Kyle never had thought it would be possible, but he does love David.

They've gone steady for about seven months now. Even though he had always wanted Stan to be his first everything, it was okay. David was great, he was more than great. For the first time in his life, Kyle had thought he could give up on Stan.

It had taken him a long time to get to that place, it was only on their half year anniversary a month ago, when he noticed. David wasn't really into that kind of stuff and neither was he, so they just hung out together at David's place and watched movies, that were completely ignored in the end because they were too busy to get each other off their clothes.

When David stopped in the middle of their make out session, half naked on top of Kyle and in the background lightsaber sounds from the TV emerged (David's a secretly a huge geek), he had looked Kyle into his eyes and smiled. "I'm so glad the last six months happened. Wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else but you," he had whispered and kissed him.

At that moment, Kyle hasn't even thought about Stan. It was weird, because usually his mind almost _always_ wanders to Stan. He had just been so happy in that moment, when he replied he loved David.

When he woke up the next morning, he had felt so confident, thinking that he had made it. Over half year ago, he had told himself to get a grip and stop being in love with Stan and now he really thought this was possible!

He was wrong.

Oh, he had been _so_ wrong.

It was Stan's fault. Which straight guy cuddles his male best friend like that, whispers hot against their neck, calls his blush cute and exchanges Eskimo kisses?!

Screw Stan Marsh. It was all his fucking fault.

Kyle had been on his best way to live his life in peace, and now that. It had also been a little bit Wendy's fault.

The following week after that had been horrible. He couldn't even look at David without thinking of Stan. He didn't even want to kiss him, because he felt so awful for imaging it to be Stan. Sex was also out of question, Kyle really didn't want to accidentally scream the name of his best friend.

And when he was around Stan... Nope, it was impossible.

It was useless. Kyle Broflovski might love David, but he will never love him as much as he loves Stan. Or anyone else. God, this sounded so fucking stupid! He was an eighteen year old boy, for god's sake.

He did know something else for sure: He had to do something

So now here he was, in the library, where he spotted David and his friends.

"Hey." Kyle dropped next to David on the seat. "We need to talk. You're not busy, are you?"

"Nope, you can borrow your boyfriend, we can live without him for a couple of minutes," Kevin agreed, smiling at Kyle.

"No, you can't," Jason replied. "You're going to die without him."

"I won't die!", Kevin protested. "I had a girlfriend once!"

David laughed, taking Kyle's hand and walking off with him. "What's the matter with them?", Kyle asked.

"Kevin wants to ask out Heidi and needs my help, apparently, because the other boys don't know how to get a date and according to them, I'm the only one who does," David replies.

Kyle laughs. He isn't surprised, the others really don't seem to have luck with women.

"Okay, what did you want to talk about?"

"You're going to CSU, right?"

"Yeah." David nods.

"I'm going to Virginia."

David cringes. "I really didn't want to talk about this, but you're right. We have to sooner or later. I guess, we'll... I don't know, I don't want to lose you."

"It's okay, you won't," Kyle promised.

"We'd have to fly over to meet the other," David said. "But I want to try it too."

"That's not what I meant," Kyle interrupted him and smiled. "I'm coming with you."

"Huh?"

"I'll go to CSU with you. I mean, if you want to," Kyle explained and then David started to smile.

"Of course I want to!" He pulled Kyle into a hug. "But- Virginia!"

"I want to be where you are," Kyle replied and hugged him back.

"But- CSU isn't... that great and you-"

"I think we're too loud for the library," Kyle said and pulled him out of the room. As soon as they were outside, David started laughing and kissing Kyle over and over again. Kyle wished, he could be as happy as his boyfriend was right now.

All he could think about was Stan, though. He was betraying him and their year long plan.

_I'm so sorry, Stan._

 

* * *

* * *

 

**STAN**

"I asked Red out," Token said.

"You asked Red?" Clyde stared at him in disbelief. "You mean... Red? As in, Red Tucker? Craig's cousin Red?"

"Yeah... why? What's wrong about her?"

Everyone who was next to them, scoffed. Token probably had the worst gaydar in the world.

"Nothing, she's great," Stan said. Even Stan knew she was 100% playing for the other team. He put his hand on Token's shoulder.

"I don't _like_ her, I mean. She's great, but it's just for prom, you know?"

"Good," Clyde said. "Wouldn't want you to fall for someone who's- Whatever, you have a date, Jimmy has one too, and Craig's the only one left who doesn't." He then turned to Stan. "You're going with Wendy, right?"

"Yeah, of course." It was weird that their slow transition from a couple to 'just friends' wasn't as hard as he had thought it would be.

"Token's going to give us their limo, right?"

Token turned to his friend, eyes him and then sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

"I mean, Red and our girlfriends are friends. We better not invite Nichole to our ride," Clyde joked.

Stan turned to David. "You and Kyle coming too?"

"What? Yeah. Damn, I forgot to buy tickets, are there still any?" David puts on his shirt and Stan shrugged.

"Don't know. Maybe Kyle has bought some, because if not, you're screwed. He'll throw a fit." Stan grinned and David groaned.

"I doubt it, we've both been so busy nowadays!"

"Ooh." Clyde slapped the dark haired boy with his towel. "Are redheads really that freaky in bed?"

"What?" David furrowed his brows and Stan threw his towel against Clyde's head.

"Dude, that's my best friend!"

"And? Craig's my best friend and I bet he's totally boring in bed. Probably is into that vanilla shit," Clyde replied and Token groaned.

"What, and you aren't?"

"My girlfriend's Bebe, what do you _think_ how kinky our sex is?" Clyde winked and David laughed.

"That's not what I meant. You know, with college preparation and stuff. I'm kind of scared." David shrugged and Token nodded.

"Yeah, I'm too. Living all on your own with some stranger so far away is a huge deal."

David laughed. "Okay, yeah. That's not it, I'm just... I don't know. What if he gets tired of me when we move in together?"

"You mean your roommate?", Stan asks and David tilts his head before nodding.

"Weird way to refer to your best friend, but yeah."

"Best... friend?"

"Wow, you and Kyle are moving in together? I thought he was going to Virginia with Stan," Clyde said.

"I thought so too," Stan said.

"Oh. I- fuck. God, I thought Kyle already told you! I'm sorry, I mean he already made that decision a week ago and-"

"Keep your fucking apology." Stan grabbed his bag and shirt and ran out of the locker room. He wasn't wearing a shirt, because he had been too angry. Outside of the locker rooms was Kyle, who was like always waiting for Stan after practice. Or, since he had started dating David, Stan and David.

"You... don't have a shirt on." Kyle stared at Stan's shirtless body and blushed.

"It's not like you've never seen me naked." Stan put on his shirt and then grabbed Kyle's arm. "We need to talk."

"What?"

Stan dragged him to his car, where he finally let him go after many of Kyle's protests. "Why the fuck are you going to CSU with David without telling me?!"

"I... Stan, I-"

"When did you want to tell me?"

"I'm sorry," Kyle said. "I wanted to, but I didn't know how! I didn't want you to get angry!"

"I _am_ angry because I had to find it out from your fucking boyfriend instead of you, my best friend!"

Kyle stared down at his feet. "I'm sorry, Stan. I really am."

Stan sighed. "It's okay."

"Really?" Kyle smiled, looking up.

"Fuck no, of course it's not. We've been planning this since we were fourteen!"

"Yeah, but I- I never would've counted in that I'll fall in love!"

Stan stared at him. Love. Kyle really loved David and for some reason it bothered him for the first time. He hated that his best friend was in love with some guy, someone who was apparently more important to Kyle than he was.

What also bothered him was, they loved each other more than Stan and Wendy loved each other.

"You really love him, huh?"

Kyle shrugged. "I do all of this for him." And somehow, Stan isn't buying his words. Because when Kyle looks into his eyes, there's something in them, that just seems like he means something else by those words.

"Okay." Stan took a deep breath and nodded again. "Okay. Get in the car."

"Stan, you're not angry?"

"No." Yes, of course he was. He was also jealous. "Just get in the car."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so glad all of u r excited for this! and trust me, theres going to be a lot of drama. bc thats the way i roll, you all know me :D  
> (srsly for those whove read jacc: the style storyline has the most drama)


	3. Erasing The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stan… There are many things I hate about myself. I don’t hate myself for deciding to leave you, though.“
> 
> Ouch. "Okay, fuck you, Kyle.“ Stan turns on his heels and wants to go, but Kyle grabs his arm.
> 
> "I love you!“ What?! Stan stops and holds his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh, i need to write an apology. for everybody that has read 'just a prom night'.... this chapter is pretty much the same. there are some changes and an extra scene but yeah.... :')  
> but for those who havent: this is the most dramatic fight ive ever written probably but trust me its not the last style fight lmao

**KYLE**

"Damn, you guys are getting a limousine?“

Kyle sighs. "Wendy wants one.“

"I don’t have the money! I’m going with Craig and he’s probably with Token and his family owe a limousine or something, I’m probably just going with them.“

Kyle furrows his brows. "Maybe we’ll be in the same one. Wendy probably wants to be with Bebe. We should ask Stan about the details, but the girls probably already arranged everything.“ He shrugs. "David and I are just going to tag along.“ Speaking of David, his boyfriend was currently getting out of the showers of the boy’s locker room Kyle and Kenny had been standing in front of.

He spots Kyle, smiles at him and then goes to the two boys. "Hey.“ He gives Kyle a peck on his lips, pulling him into a hug.

"Hey.“ Kyle has to look up to him. David wasn’t as tall as Stan was, but he was still over six feet and Kyle was  _really_ short. He curls his hand around David’s waist. "How was practice?“

"Exhausting. Coach hates me or something.“ David looks into his eyes and Kyle smiles at him. He has to count himself lucky for getting a guy like David, he was gorgeous. He had amazing brown eyes, a warm smile and strong arms. Plus, he’s pretty amazing in bed… and behind all of this, he was just a huge damn geek, which makes Kyle like him even more.

"Hello? I’m still here!“, Kenny says, but they ignore him.

"Let these two alone,“ another voice says. Immediately, Kyle turns around to see Stan.  _Stan._ His hair was wet from the shower and he looked amazing, his piercing blue eyes staring at him. His hand is on Kenny’s shoulder and he drags him away from David and Kyle.

Kyle wants to say something, but he can’t. Their relationship had been really tense lately, since Kyle had told him he's going to the college of David’s choice to stay with him. He wishes he doesn’t have to, but he knows it’s for the best. He can’t stay being in love with his best friend forever.

"I have by the way a suit now,“ David informs him. "Got it yesterday from the tailor. Damn, suits are fucking expensive.“

"I know,“ Kyle says and smiles. "But at least you can wear it more than once. Think of the poor girls.“ He doesn’t think about them, instead his mind wanders to David in a suit. He would look really gorgeous in one. Then, suddenly an image of Stan in a suit flashes into his mind and it’s even  _better._

"True.“ David plants a kiss on Kyle’s nose. "So, wanna go to my place and see it?“

"Sure.“ Kyle nods and then takes his hand, his mind still occupied with Stan.

* * *

 

They had been about fifteen, when they first talked about going to Virginia for college.

Since then, they had planned it and none of the two would’ve thought that it  _wouldn’t_ happen. They have everything planned out. They talked about the GPA they needed to be accepted and Stan trained harder for football to get a scholarship in it and they talked about how they’d live together and they already made arrangements about their bunks and-

He  _wants_ to go to Virginia with Stan, he really does. He loves him and he’d follow him everywhere, but this was already hell. Seeing his best friend every day, knowing he’d never return your feelings…

"We can’t go to prom together,“ Stan tells him. They’re in the cafeteria, waiting for the others.

"What?“

"The limousine. It’s full. Wendy wants to go with Bebe, who’s going with Craig and those guys,“ Stan explains. "Sorry.“

Kyle opens his mouth. "Are you  _serious_?“

"Yeah.“ Stan nods. "Sorry, dude.“

"But- but it’s  _prom_!“

"Geez, Kyle, I didn’t know prom is so important to you.“

"It’s not! I mean, yes it is. It’s our last night, okay? And I’ve always imagined going with you!“

"Well, I’ve always imagined going with you to Virginia, guess we won’t get what we both want, right?“ Stan growls back at him and Kyle presses his lips into a thin line. "Look, it’s only the one ride and dinner, no big deal. We’ll see each other there.“

Kyle winces. "Does this mean I have to go with Cartman?“

Stan shrugs. "He doesn’t even have a date.“

"He does. He’s going with  _Butters._ “ They both had ended up with no date and for some reason, Cartman really wanted to go to prom.

"Really?“ Stan sighs. "I guess, yeah. You can go with Butters and Cartman, or you know, David’s friends.“

Kyle moans. "I don’t even like David’s friends that much.“ Half of them were the football jocks, the others were his geeky friends. David may be a jock, but he’s really just a big geek, like Kevin and Jason. Kyle doesn’t have anything against them, he just isn’t close to them.

"Kyle, it’s just one night.“

"It’s our last night, dude!“

"And whose fault is that?!“ Stan seems to be angry and before Kyle can say anything, Wendy approaches them. She’s talking with Stan about some details for prom night, but Kyle doesn’t listen. He’s pissed, even though Stan is right. He doesn’t have the right to be. He looks to Wendy, beautiful Wendy, who’s probably going to be prom queen.

He used to be super jealous of her, because she had everything he wanted. They battled for everything, during debate class, for the better GPA, valedictorian, Stan. It’s just that in the last matter, she won. The one that was most important for Kyle. She won in the others too, but he didn’t care much about that.

He doesn’t hate her, because Wendy’s a great girl and now he’s not too jealous anymore. She and Stan are still together, but they both know it’s going to be over after prom, because she was going to New York and he was going to Virginia. They’re sad about it, but they’ve accepted it and aren’t crying their eyes out. According to Stan, he has always known that they were just high school sweet hearts.

"By the way, I’m really sorry, Kyle.“ Wendy smiles apologetically at him and Kyle shrugs.

"Whatever.“ He turns his attention to his food and angrily picks it up with his fork.

* * *

* * *

 

**STAN**

Shouldn't he be super happy? He graduated High School, was crowned prom king, got into the college of his dreams _and_ was currently dancing with his beautiful sort of ex girlfriend, who his prom queen. But he wasn't.

"You’re going to be at Token’s?“, Wendy asks him.

"Probably,“ he replies. He looks over her and... to Kyle and David. They have only been on the dance floor once this night, which was because Kyle was a horrible dancer. Now he was here again and it hurts to see them being all lovey-dovey. Yes, he should be happy, but he wasn't. His ex girlfriend was leaving him, apparently in love with the fatass Eric Cartman _and_ his super best friend was leaving him for some other guy. Wow, that sounded kind of gay.

"What is it?“, Wendy asks, but Stan ignores her question.

"Kyle, don’t cling on to me so much!“, David said, laughing.

"But you said I always step on your feet!“ It was wrong. These two have never bothered him before, but now... How could Kyle be so happy and enjoy his time when he betrayed his best friend.

"Yeah, you do, but- God, you’re such an idiot. But that’s cute.“ David laughs and then they're kissing, soft and gentle with smiles on their lips. This just makes him angrier.

"God, I  _hate_ him,“ Stan murmurs.

"What?“ Wendy turns around to him again. "You hate Kyle?“

"No. Yes. Him and David.“ Stan sighs and Wendy gently strokes his hair.

"I know,“ she says. "You should talk to him. You can’t leave for Virginia being angry, you know? You two are such good friends, you don’t want to throw it away because of this.“

"I’m throwing it away?  _He_ is! They haven’t even been dating for so long! We’ve been together for years, you don’t see me chasing after you to New York!“

"Probably, because we don’t love each other enough,“ she replies, shrugging. Somehow, this comment makes him even angrier.

"Well, I always thought a friendship is more important than a stupid teen romance,“ he replies. "Like, even if they’re Soulmates or something, I don’t care. But  _I’m_  his best friend. His… super best friend.“

"Talk to him,“ Wendy repeats. It was only now that Stan realized that he slowly danced towards the other couple, so that they're almost next to each other.

"Can’t wait for us to move in together,“ David says and Kyle looks up at him and smiles.

"Yeah, me neither.“

"I love you, babe.“

"Love you too.“

Stan can't take this anymore. "That’s it!“, he hisses angrily and leaves the dance floor and approaches the drinks.

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t drunk enough. For the last half an hour he had spent the time drinking with Kevin, Clyde and Nichole. Nichole after some time, because she was done crying over Token and wanted to have fun at her prom, but Kevin's girlfriend Heidi had just cheated on him with Jimmy and Bebe had broken up with Clyde.

"I gave her everything,“ Kevin says. "I just… I can’t believe I’m even sitting here with you guys.“

"What’s so wrong about us?“, Stan asks.

"Not you. But  _Clyde_ ,“ Kevin explains, only that his words were slurred because of how drunk he was. "I like you, man. But you’re friends with Jimmy and he’s an asshole.“

"No, he’s not,“ Clyde murmurs, his eyes still red and swollen. He had finally stopped crying. "He just tried to cheer me up with knock knock jokes.“

"Well, yeah. In front of me! My girlfriend literally cheated on me with him and now they’re together! That’s a dick move!“

"Yes, I know… He’s still a good guy,“ Clyde defends Jimmy. Kevin pouts and looks to Stan.

"Why aren’t you saying anything?“

"I might be tipsy, but not drunk enough for this shit,“ Stan says. "The alcohol wasn’t strong enough in the punch. I hope there’s more at Token’s.“

"There is, trust me,“ Clyde promises.

"Stan!“ Kyle runs to him. Of course David is trailing after him like a lovesick puppy. He makes Stan sick. He really wants to punch that guy’s face. A few months ago, he had liked him. David was a nice guy, they were on the same football team and he made Kyle happy!

Kyle never dated anyone and Stan had been a little bit worried. When he had told him he and David were going out, Stan had been stoked. He could finally go out on double dates with them! Wendy always made him go to double dates, mostly with Bebe and Clyde, and Stan hated it. If it would be with Kyle, however, it’d be much cooler.

It was. But then everything was ruined, when Kyle suddenly found David much more important than Stan.

"What?!“, Stan growls.

"What are you doing?“

"Trying to get drunk,“ Stan replies.

"Well, I’m leaving now,“ Kyle explains.

"You’re not going to Token’s?“

"No. I mean, maybe. I’ll go to David’s place first.“ Kyle blushes a little bit and Stan of course knows what will happen. He was with his boyfriend to prom, of course they’re going to fuck after it. If Stan and Wendy were still a thing, he would too. "I wanted to say goodbye in case we don’t see each other anymore.“

"Oh, well, you don’t need to say goodbye to me. You can, when I fucking leave for Virginia  _without_ your stupid ass.“

"Stan-"

Stan stands up and stomps out of the hall. He doesn’t want to see Kyle right now, or David. In fact, he doesn’t want to see anyone. He’s angry and pissed and not drunk enough. Drinking at Token’s was an option, but he didn’t want to be around people then too.

When he’s outside, he wishes he had some alcohol on him. He should probably just call a taxi and then get home.

"Stanley Marsh!“

"Don’t you fucking call me that.“ Without looking Stan immediately knew, who was calling after him. His so called best friend Kyle. He turns around to him.

"What’s your problem?“

"I don’t have one.“

"Yes, you do. You have one, have been for a long while! Only that today you’re worse!“ Kyle’s face is red, almost as red as his hair. It was weird seeing him without his hat, but Stan liked it.

Stan sighs. "So, what do you think my problem is?“

Kyle hesitates. "Me.“

"Good, you know. So why are you asking?“

"Because… I want to talk. We need to talk about this,“ Kyle explains. Stan scoffs.

"No, we don’t. Why don’t you go to your fucking boyfriend, since he’s the most important person in your life now? He’s waiting for your probably. Don’t you want to get fucked by him-"

Kyle grabs him by his collar and pushes him angrily against the wall. "Don’t talk to me like this! And you know, it’s not true!“

"What?“ Stan raises his eyebrows. "You’re the one who’s doing the fucking?“

Kyle’s grib loosens and he blushes. "Uh… no.“

"I really didn’t need to know this,“ Stan replies and Kyle groans out of frustration.

"I’m talking about the other part! He’s not my most important person in my life, okay? He might be my boyfriend, but I-  _you_ ’re the most important person in my life.“

"Shut the fuck up!“ Now it’s Stan who’s pushing him. "Don’t you dare, Kyle. Don’t you dare lie to my face. You’re already leaving me just so you can make love to your stupid boyfriend, the least you can do is tell the truth.“

Kyle looks hurt by these words and Stan smiles. Good, he should be hurt! He should be as hurt as he was, when Kyle told him he was going to Colorado States. "I’m not lying,“ he says. It’s almost a whisper.

"Fuck you, Kyle, alright? We shouldn’t talk, it makes everything worse. We could’ve stayed friends. Not  _super best friends,_ but friends. I don’t think I can do that anymore.“

Kyle looks up to him, his eyes wide in shock. "What do you mean?“

"I don’t want to be your friend anymore! You literally put your boyfriend before me! Does our friendship mean nothing to you? Huh? We’ve been friends for almost two decades, you little shit! Ever since we were  _two_ years old and our mothers met in some stupid book club or something. We’ve been best friends for sixteen years.

 _Sixteen_  years. We’ve gone through so much shit, I saved your sorry ass plenty of times. I have a sister, a mother, a father, a dog, a grandfather and a fucking girlfriend, but never, seriously, never have I ever once thought about putting them before you.

Me and Wendy have been dating on and off for years, even back in elementary, but I’d never go follow her to New York, no matter how much I love her. You know why? Because friendship  _matters_ to me. Because we promised each other, when we were fucking fourteen, to go to Virginia together and move into a dorm.

I’d do anything for you, and what are you doing? You throw  _sixteen years of friendship away for some dick_! You and David haven’t even been together for a year and you leave him for me! I’m so glad to know that all it takes for you to throw away our friendship is some guy.“

His voice is so loud and Stan doesn’t know, if anyone can hear them, but they seem to be alone. It’s really cold, but he’s fueling with anger, so he doesn’t care about it. Kyle stares at him and then bursts into tears. Jesus fucking Christ.

"You’re so pathetic,“ Stan growls, but then Kyle punches him. It’s a weak punch against Stan’s shoulder and only hurts a little bit, but it makes Stan angry. It makes him so angry, that he punches Kyle back, with his full force. Everyone knows that Kyle doesn’t have a chance against him. Stan’s almost 6’3“ while Kyle’s probably 5’7“ or something and Stan’s pretty buff. He got a football scholarship to Virginia for a reason.

Kyle is on the ground, looking up to him, tears in his eyes and a bloody nose. He’s not saying anything or defending himself, he’s just staring at Stan. It makes him angry. Stan’s hand is balled into a fist and he’s panting. "Don’t you want to say something? Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?“

"I’m sorry,“ Kyle says. "I’m sorry, okay? I know it’s awful! I know I’m throwing away our friendship! I know, okay, I  _know._ “ He slowly gets up and wipes his tears and the blood away with his sleeve. "My mom will kill me for this.“

"I don’t care.“

"Stan… There are many things I hate about myself. I don’t hate myself for deciding to leave you, though.“

Ouch. "Okay, fuck you, Kyle.“ Stan turns on his heels and wants to go, but Kyle grabs his arm.

"I love you!“  _What?!_  Stan stops and holds his breath. Kyle is shaking now when Stan slowly turns around again to face him. His best friend has tears falling down his cheek and his gaze is lowered down to the ground. "I love you, Stan. I’ve been in love with you ever since we were kids. I think I was twelve or something, when I realized I’m totally in love with my best friend.

I don’t hate myself for leaving you, I hate myself for falling in love with you. I’ve- I’ve held it in myself for so long and I hated it. I wanted it to go away, because I know you don’t feel the same for me!“ Kyle looks up and their eyes meet. "Do you know how fucking hard it was for me? I saw you all the time with Wendy! You and her were together for such a long time and I just- every time I imagined me being in her place. I just thought how it just wasn’t fair. You broke up all the time! She broke your heart so many times… I would… I would never…“ He sobs and clings onto Stan.

"Fuck,“ Stan whispers.

"So when I started David, I thought for the first time I was able to get over you. I didn’t though. I love David, but I could never love him the same way I love you. I knew I couldn’t keep living like this, always pine after you. I need to live my own life, alright? If I’d follow you to Virginia… That would just make everything worse.

I’m not going to Colorado because of David. I’m going there because of  _you_.“

For a while nobody of them says anything. They just stare at each other, until Stan clears his throat. "Kyle… I’m- I’m sorry. I didn’t know.“

"Of course you didn’t. You’re oblivious. Literally everyone always said how I had a boner for you and yet you never knew.“ Kyle sighs and Stan thinks about all the stupid remarks of Cartman. "Stan.“

"Yeah?“

"I said I love you.“

"I know.“

"You’re not going to say anything, do you?“ Stan doesn’t even dare to move and Kyle sighs. "If you tell me, right now, right here, that you like me too, even just…  _consider_ my feelings, then I’ll leave David. I’m going to go to Virginia, I’m going to follow you everywhere in the world. Seriously, just say it and I’ll stay with you  _anywhere._ “

Stan is speechless by his words. "I- I can’t. That’s unfair! You know I want you with me!“

"So say it!“

"I can’t lie to you. I’m sorry, Kyle… I love you, dude, but only as a friend. I’m-"

"Straight, I know.“ Kyle smiles, and it’s a sad smile. Stan hates that he’s making his friend so sad. He wishes he could return Kyle’s feelings, he really does.

"I’m sorry.“

"It’s okay. I didn't expect anything else.“

"But…  _still._  Please, Kyle. Don’t go to Colorado, come to me to Virginia. I might not love you back, but we’re still best friends. I don’t care you have a boner for me, dude.“ Stan takes Kyle’s hand and Kyle draws it back quickly.

"You’re such an  _ass,_ Stan. You don’t know how I feel. I can’t be around you anymore, I can’t do this to myself anymore. It hurts too much.“ He closes his eyes and then bites down on his lips. "I’m sorry it has to end like this. I’d rather not stay friends with you in any way. Not until… I’m over you.“ When he opens his eyes again, Stan wants to cry too. "Well, I should get going then. David is waiting for me.“

He turns around and goes. Stan wants to yell after him, tell him to come back, but he can’t.

When he’s in his bedroom, about an hour later, he lets himself fall down onto his bed and starts crying too. Everything was ruined, but that’s how it was. It’s both of their fault, no one is exactly to blame for them parting. When Stan stops crying, he turns onto his back, thinking about how all of his friends are probably at Token’s right now and partying.

Then, he thinks about Kyle, who’s probably lying in David’s arms, having sex with him. Maybe, he’s thinking about Stan doing all of the things David does to him. Stan will never do it, though, because… he doesn’t have feelings for Kyle.

Right?

* * *

* * *

 

**KYLE**

 "And you're really sure?"

"Yes, David. Go to Token, I just want to be alone right now. Have fun, it's prom night after all." Kyle smiled and David sighed.

"Kyle... You just had a big fight with your best friend..." Would David still be this supportive if he knew what he had just told him? Kyle nodded and then grabbed his collar to bring him down for a kiss.

"I know, thank you for being such an understanding boyfriend. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." David nods. "But call me if you need anything." He smiles and then they part. Kyle's so relieved, when David finally leaves, because he hasn't had a time for himself since that fight with Stan. As soon as he hears David's car leaving, he slides down on to the ground and starts to cry.

Fuck, he doesn't remember the last time he has cried. Probably not since he was a little boy. Seriously, only when it came to Stan Marsh he could cry nowadays. And it wasn't even quiet, no, he literally sobbed. His nose was running, tears were all over his cheek and he was a mess.

"Kyle?" Somebody knocked on his door.

"Go away, Ike," Kyle replied, but Ike opened the door.

"What happened? Was it David?"

Kyle looked up to his younger brother. He was only thirteen now, but more mature than he had been at his age. "No, it wasn't David."

"Was it Stan?"

Kyle stared at him for a moment before wiping away his tears, only to sob again. Ike kneeled next to him and hugged his brother. Kyle hugged him back, Ike was slowly starting to be taller than him (which wasn't hard). "Do you..."

"Know you've been in love with Stan since you were like ten?"

Kyle nodded and Ike laughs too. "I think everyone but Stan and David know. Mom and dad were cheering for you. I was too, I mean, David's a good guy, but when you first introduced him I was confused. I thought you loved Stan."

"I do."

"Does he know?"

Kyle nods. "I just told him. Ike, it's over. Stan and I are over. Forever."

Ike shakes his head. "No, Kyle, you aren't! Everyone, but you... you two are best friends."

Kyle chuckles, wiping away his tears. "Best friends aren't always meant to be forever, you know."

"Of course, but you are. You're not normal best friends."

Kyle had thought so too. They've been through too much, but there was one thing that was able to force them apart and that had been Kyle's love for Stan. "Stan and I are not meant to be forever."


	4. Alone in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fuck," he whispered. "I love Kyle." Of course he did. No matter how much he loved anyone else, Wendy or whoever else was going to come, he could never love anyone as much as he loved Kyle. And it wasn't the same as just normal best friends.
> 
> Crap, why hasn't he noticed before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> intro: gary harrison  
> exit: david rodriguez.  
> one leaves another one comes thats how it goes

**STAN**

"Stan, you can't just cut ties with _everyone_."

"I can. Watch me," he replied.

Wendy sighed. "That's not healthy."

"You're in love with Eric Cartman, you can't tell me what happy or not is," he shot back and there was silence for a moment. He had almost thought she had hung up on him.

"Touché, Stan, touché." He could imagine her smile and missed it. Not in the 'I miss my girlfriend so much' way. He just really missed her as a friend. She was also the only one from South Park he was still friends with (next to Gary). They sometimes talked over the phone with each other. At first, Wendy used to drop Kyle into their conversation, but she stopped after he told her what happened.

She was the only person who knows. Well, who knows from him. He doesn't know who Kyle has told. Probably David.

The reason Stan still stayed in contact with her was because Wendy was so far away from everyone else. Okay, there was Jimmy, but that's it.

"Hey, Stan!", a familiar voice shouted.

"Listen, Wendy, I have to go."

"Stan, please-"

"We'll talk later, okay? Gary's here." He hangs up on her and turns to Gary. He and Gary hadn't exactly been friends during all of middle school and high school and- okay, well. They've never actually had been friends since that one time in fourth grade, he had been a dick to Gary and the guy decided other friends were better.

But about a month before graduation, Gary had approached him, because he found out they were going to the same college.

"Who was that?"

"Wendy."

"Testaburger? You and her are still in contact? Well, you two dated for years, so I guess that's okay." Gary smiles, sitting down next to Stan.

"Yeah... Wait, did you ever date anyone? I mean... you were really popular with the girls." Yeah, the girls had been all over him and Kenny.

Gary laughed. "Nah, I don't swing that way."

"Oh." Was he as bad as Token with his gaydar?! "So, uh, any guys? Because... like, I guess you're attractive for guys too. I mean, I'm a guy. You're decent. Well, _more_ than decent."

"Stan, if you say 'no Homo', I'm going to kick your ass."

"Sorry, dude."

Gary laughed. "It's okay. And yeah, I used to date this guy. You know him? Thomas? He moved like in eleventh grade."

"That Tourette guy?"

"I guess you can call him that."

Wow. Stan nodded. "I... who would've thought? Did you, like, come out?"

"I was never in the closet. If somebody asks, I tell them. And you know my family, they're the most supportive people in the world."

Stan thinks about Kyle. He had been so scared when he first came out to Stan, as if he'd turn his back on his best friend just because he was digging guys. Yeah, Kyle liked guys, so what? That didn't mean he liked Stan! Or that was what he had thought back then.

"Stan?"

"Huh?"

"You were drifting off."

"Sorry, I was just thinking..." About Kyle. He has done that a lot in the past two weeks he had been here. "Anyway, how did you know?"

"Huh?"

"That you were, you know, gay."

"I don't know. I just did. It's different for everyone I guess."Did Kyle just knew? Or was it because of him? "So, want to get something to eat or you want to keep doodling Kyles on your notebook?"

"What?" Stan stared down on his notebook he had been drawing scribbles the last half hour. "That's not... Kyle."

"Your art is horrible, but that stick figure has an ushanka."

Stan sighed. "We had a fight."

"I know. Everyone from Park County High knows."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Gary patted his shoulder. "Let's go, I'm really hungry. We can talk about this later, let me complain about my shitty roommate first."

"Sure."

 

* * *

 

This must have been how Kyle felt.

Stan didn't like this. He wanted to forget Kyle, but his best friend was on his mind the whole time. So much, that he fucking doodled him on his notebook. And almost every sentence could be turned, so it reminded him of Kyle.

He just wished he was here.

Sure, Kyle loved him. So what? He would've been okay. They could've been okay. He shouldn't have left him for David just because of that. Their bond was stronger than that.

They could've gone through this.

Okay, he had to think from Kyle's point of view. Kyle said he couldn't be with Stan any more, not when they couldn't be together. He said that it hurt him too much. For the sake of their friendship, Stan would've been with him if it meant he could have his best friend here!

This sounded extreme, but for Kyle, Stan would've done everything. He would've treated him the way he wanted... and deserved. He would've kissed him, hugged him, be a loving and good boyfriend. An even better one than David. And it wouldn't have bothered Stan _that_ much, because this was _Kyle._ He was his best friend, kissing him wouldn't be too bad.

Kyle was probably a good kisser. Stan had watched him and David kissing and David seemed to enjoy himself perfectly fine. Stan bets he could make Kyle feel better though, especially because it was him who Kyle loved. Right? The past weeks haven't changed his feelings for him, right?

Stan scoffed. Of course he hasn't. There was a reason Kyle fell in love with _him_. It was because he and Kyle were special. No matter how much Kyle and David loved each other, they will never love each other as much as Stan and Kyle did.

Wait. _What_?! Stan turned around on his stomach, burying his face in his pillow and groaned. Did he really just think all of this? Kissing his best friend? Being his boyfriend? Loving him?

"Fuck," he whispered. "I love Kyle." Of course he did. No matter how much he loved anyone else, Wendy or whoever else was going to come, he could never love anyone as much as he loved Kyle. And it wasn't the same as just normal best friends.

Crap, why hasn't he noticed before? It was totally not normal to fucking cuddle your best friend the same way Stan did and enjoy the way how Kyle played with his hair? Or how cute he thought Kyle's blush was?

He hates himself. So much. He was in love with Kyle but noticed it. But it was too late now. Kyle was in Colorado States, living with his boyfriend, who he loves. Because, yes. Kyle might love Stan, but it wasn't a lie that he also loved David.

It was too _fucking_ late.

 

* * *

* * *

 

**KYLE**

"Where's David?"

"Probably in the gym," Kyle replied. What does it say about him when the only two guys he has loved are both super jocks?

"Probably?" Craig and Clyde sit down next to him. Craig has recently gotten snake bites, which, to be honest, make him look better. It wasn't like Craig was ever unattractive, but he wasn't his type. Two things about Craig that did fall into his category were his dark hair and the fact that he was 6'5". Tall, dark and handsome.

He wasn't a jock, muscular or a sweetheart, though. No, he was far from that. They were, however, kind of friends now.

"I guess. I don't know." Kyle shrugged."I don't follow every single step of his life, you know?"

"Seems like it," Craig replied.

Kyle glared at him. "No, I'm not a clingy boyfriend."

"Yes, you totally are," Clyde replied. "It's okay, I am one too. I guess that's the reason why Bebe broke up with me."

Craig groaned. "It's been seven months!"

"I'm over her, I'm just wondering, okay?" Clyde pouted. "You're being a dick, Craig." Craig flipped him off. Clyde smiled. "I know what my third rule can be! Not being a dick about it when I talk about my ex."

Craig sighed. "Whatever."

They have started the whole 'rules' thing last weekend and Kyle smiled. He was glad for them, because now they didn't mention Stan anymore. Yes, it has been seven months, but the thought of him still hurt. That doesn't mean he doesn't think about him constantly, though. He had thought it would go away once he was thousands of miles away from him, but apparently that wasn't the case.

Especially because he and David... Well, let's just say they recently have drifted apart. It wouldn't surprise Kyle if he'd break up with him. Of course he'd still be down, because Clyde and Craig were right. In the beginning he had been _really_ clingy. That was only because he missed Stan so much and wanted David to be around him the whole time to think about anything but Stan.

"Fellas!" Butters ran towards them and then sat down next to Kyle. "I just met someone!"

"Oh, good for you Butters, you need to get laid," Clyde said, smiling. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"He gets laid enough," Kyle replied. College girls apparently thought Butters innocent self was cute. Plus, he has gotten more confident now without his parents. "You should rather help Craig."

"Fuck you, Broflovski."

"That's not what I meant, I mean someone else from South Park! Do you remember Mike Makowski?"

"No."

"Really? You don't remember the time I thought I was a vampire because of him?" Kyle tilted his head.

"You mean that Vampire Society?"

"Yes! He moved away when we were in seventh grade, but he's here now too! Isn't that cool? Boy, this is so exciting!"

"Butters, nobody thinks it is," Craig deadpanned. Butters sighed.

"Don't be rude," Clyde hissed at his best friend before turning to Butters. "But really, nobody thinks it is. I don't even know who that guy is."

"Oh." Butters nods. "Well, I just thought I'd let you know."

"Hey, you're still living alone right now, right?" Butters roommate has left their dorm recently because he and his girlfriend moved in together.

"Yeah, why?"

"Would you mind me as a roommate?", Kyle asked and Butters furrowed his brows.

"What about David?"

"I... just don't think we'll last that long," Kyle murmured.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, Kyle! Of course! My doors are always open for you!" Butters smiled brightly. The only guy who wouldn't prefer living alone in a dorm room.

"Thanks, dude."

"Are you serious? You don't think you and David will last?" Clyde gasps. "I need to text this to Token." He takes out his phone. He and Token are constantly texting each other it was almost annoying. Kyle just rolls his eyes, he doesn't care if Token knows. He lives on the other side of the country, just like Stan.

"What a waste," Craig said. "You leave Stan for him and now you don't even make it through the second semester."

It was the ugly truth. Kyle stood up, growled: "Don't forget my fucking rule." Then he turned around and walked off, ignoring Butters and Clyde shouting after him. Craig was right, but he didn't know in what way. He left Stan just so he could forget about him. But has it helped? No, he still thought about Stan every fucking day and it doesn't seem like it was going to get better any time soon.

So then he decides that he has to talk with David about it. He goes to their room and starts putting his stuff in his suitcase and other bags he had. When David comes back, he's in the middle of putting his books in a box.

"What... are you doing?"

Kyle stopped midway to turn around. "You know what I'm doing."

David just stared at him for a while until he walked towards Kyle and kissed him. "I didn't know how to approach this."

"You know that you don't kiss someone before you break up with them, right?" Kyle smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"I never had a break up before." David shrugged. "You were my first love."

"I know and you-"

"I wasn't yours," David says.

"What?"

"I'm right, aren't I?"

Kyle stares down to his suitcase and nods slowly.

"You loved Stan."

"Obviously everybody knows now," Kyle murmurs. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yeah, you're right. It doesn't." David sighs and leans back. "Do you regret it?"

Kyle tilts his head. "Huh?"

"Being with me. Going to CSU for me."

"What? No! Of course not!" Kyle smiles. "I mean, even though towards the end we just... drifted apart... I loved you. I really loved you, you know? You might not be my first love, but _still._ I don't regret the time we were together."

David smiles back at him and lowers his head. "I loved you too. I'm glad we aren't... breaking up in a fight."

"Yeah." Kyle thinks about how he and Stan had parted. That really _was_ the worst way.

 

* * *

 

**STAN**

"You know, when I agreed to be your roommate, I didn't think I had to take care of you that much."

"I'm sorry." Stan closed his eyes. "Alcohol is bad for me." He always had problems with it. He wasn't like the others, who just drank it to have a good time. He literally drowned all his problems in it and that made it so dangerous. He has done it a lot in the last two years, though. Some people might just think it's because he's a typical college student, but that was wrong.

He didn't have a healthy relationship with booze.

Gary sighed. "It's okay. I'd rather live with you than my old roommate. He was a homophobic dick that liked to make fun of my religion." He shrugs, smiling.

"I used to be like that too," Stan says.

"Homophobic?"

"Nah, I used to make fun of your religion. Not like _fun_ , but... you know." Stan shrugged and then downed the glass of water Gary had given him for his hangover.

"Need more?"

"Nah, I'm fine. Thanks."

"What are friends for?" Gary smiled at him and Stan thought that this could've been him and Kyle. Stan with a hangover, sitting on his bed and Kyle kneeling in front of him and smiling at him. He can't imagine Gary as Kyle though, they were too different. Gary looked like a perfect model or an actor on TV, all flawless and perfect. Kyle on the other hand... He was beautiful for what others thought wasn't attractive. His nose, his freckles, his super curly hair, the fact that he was so short.

"Stan? You're staring."

"Sorry."

Gary shrugged before standing up and then sitting down next to him. "So what happened yesterday anyway? That guy that followed you was weird."

"That was Mark."

"You mean the Mark who you had a one night stand with and then later you find out it was his first time and now he's heads over heels for you?"

Stan cringes. "Yeah."

Gary laughs. "Two years ago you were totally straight and now look at you."

"Two and a half," Stan corrects him. He had now come to terms with his bisexuality and the fact that he was in love with his former best friend, but could never be with him.

"You know, I feel bad for Mike-"

"Mark."

"Huh?"

"His name was Mark."

"Oh." Gary starts laughing. "I guess I don't feel that bad for him."

Stan grinned. "Jealous?" He was slowly getting into dangerous territory. Had been in the last few weeks actually, not knowing whether it was okay to cross that line with Gary. They were friends, they were roommates! It could make everything awkward by flirting with him or going any further.

"Nope. You practically ran away from him and into my arms. I guess my chances are pretty good."

"Chances, huh?" Stan perks up his eyebrows and Gary grins. This wasn't the first time Gary was flirting back.

"I guess they're at 70%."

"Pretty confident," Stan commented.

"Not really, 30% aren't something I'd like to risk."

Stan bit down on his bottom lip before putting his hand on the side of Gary's neck. "Let me give you the other 30%." Then, he leaned in to kiss him. Gary seemed to be surprised by that at first, but then he kissed Stan back, his hands cupping Stan's face.

Then, Gary smiled. "I'm surprised."

"Really? I've been obviously flirting with you for, like, weeks."

Gary shrugged and threw his arms around Stan's shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe you do that with all your roommates. Maybe that's the reason your old one left you."

Stan rolled his eyes. "Nah, I don't. You're special."

Gary grinned and kissed him again. Stan closed his eyes and smiled. He was glad that the first person he opened up to since Kyle and Wendy was Gary. "You think this is a good idea?", Stan asks. "I mean... we're such good friends and on top of that roommates."

"Makes it better for us to have some time for ourselves, what?" Gary winks at him jokingly and Stan laughs. "Just kidding. But I guess... I wanna give it a try. Don't you?"

"Of course, dude! _I_ kissed you, I mean it. I like you." Stan blushed and Gary smiled brightly. "I mean..."

"Yeha, you better like me that way. I don't date guys that don't."


	5. Back to the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stan’s here! I don’t know if he saw me, but…" His voice is shaking and clenching his fists. "I can’t see him! I can’t, alright?"  
> "Okay,“ Kenny says.   
> "Hide me! Please!“ Was that childish?  
> "It’s too late for that, Kyle,“ Kenny says and turns him around.   
> And there he was. Stanley Randall Marsh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gary harrison....... actual gary stu LMAO bye

**KYLE**

"Guess what Jimmy just did?“

"What?“, Clyde asks.

"He got the Pulitzer prize,“ Kyle suggests sarcastically.

"Oh, geez, that would but great. But no, that’s not it.“

"Come on, tell me,“ Craig says.

"He posted on our old Facebook group,“ Butters replies. "He and Wendy are organizing a class reunion! Isn’t that great? I really do miss everyone!“

"A class reunion?“, Clyde asks. 

"Yeah, during break.“ Butters smiles widely at them and sits down on Clyde’s bed. 

A class reunion? Kyle gets out his phone quickly, wondering whether or not he will see Stan again. Of course Kyle is going to the reunion, he was in South Park during break anyway, but will Stan be there? They haven't seen each other in over three years, Stan has only come to South Park once since he had left for college. It had been during the holidays and Kyle had hid himself as well as he could to not see him.

Since Stan didn't visit him Kyle knew it had to mean that Stan didn't want to see him either.

"So, he and Wendy are doing that?“, Clyde asks.

"Yeah, they’re both in New York,“ Kyle explains. Okay, they probably knew that. "They even dated for a time.“

"No way!“, Clyde yells. "Jimmy Valmer and Wendy Testaburger? Somebody shoot me. How do you know?“

Kyle shrugs. "We used to text with each other a little bit. Not much, and it was only like, once a month and stopped after our first year in college. Apparently they had tried to date for two months, before both of them agreed it wasn’t right and they broke up.“

The reason Kyle had still been in contact with her was because she was the only person who still talked with Stan. His former best friend had cut ties with everyone else in South Park and Kyle wanted to know how his best friend was doing.

Wendy knew she didn't love Jimmy anyway, she was too in love with Cartman, even after a year. Kyle can't believe someone would really love that fatass. He wonders if she still does, because he knows that Cartman does.

Kyle scrolls through the event page Wendy has put up on Facebook and then looks through the list of people that have confirmed to come. Apparently it was just a reunion for the South Park kids, ignoring all the others from Park County High.

He knows Stan doesn't have Facebook, which is probably better. Kyle would stalk his page all the time. Gary Harrison however does, even though he's barely active on it and his page doesn't reveal much since he and Kyle aren't friends on Facebook. All he can see is a picture of the ridiculously good looking guy.

And apparently Gary is going to attend.

"So many people have already said they’ll come!“ Butters seems to be really excited about it. "Even Gregory and Christophe are going to come!“

"And fucking Gary," Kyle whispers.

"What?“, Clyde asks.

"Gary is coming,“ Kyle replies. Does this mean Stan is coming too? Even if not, seeing Gary alone is awful enough, because it reminds him of what could've been between _him_ and Stan if only Kyle wouldn't have fallen in love with him. 

"I told you, everyone was going to be there!“, Butters says. "Oh, and Craig?“

"What?“

Butters seems to be nervous and then suddenly Clyde starts laughing. He was on his phone too, looking at the event page probably. "You won’t guess who’s going to be there.“

"I don’t give a fuck,“ Craig replies.

"Tweek Tweak. Your lover boy is coming too," Clyde explains.

Kyle laughs. What were the chances that all of them were going to meet 'their guys' again, since Token was apparently also coming. What's funnier is how quickly Craig gets up to reach for Clyde's phone, literally ripping it from his best friend's hand to look at the screen.

"Oh my god," he says. "Tweek is coming!" Kyle doesn't think he has ever seen Craig that excited. He was different than Kyle, because Kyle really was afraid of the moment he'll see Stan again. Craig on the other hand, just wanted to see his ex fake boyfriend and crush, who he hasn't seen in over seven years since Tweek moved.

What a lucky guy.

 

* * *

* * *

 

**STAN**

"Stan, you can like, let me go now. PDA really isn't my thing."

"Why do I _always_ date someone who's against it?" Stan groans, but doesn't draw back his arms from around Gary's waist. He wonders for a moment if Kyle's into PDA. Would he mind if Stan would hug Kyle like this from behind?

"Because you're the only one who does," Gary replies, laughing and turns around.

"I'm just scared."

"Stan, my family will love you. You know them, you've met them once."

"I know! And that's not the reason I'm really scared," Stan murmured.

"Let me go, our suitcases are here!" Gary walked up to his suitcase and picks it up and Stan sighs, following him. He really wished that it would take longer, but apparently it didn't.

"I don't want to go out there."

"You don't miss your parents?"

"Of course, but this means I'm back in Colorado. Like officially. It's been two years." Stan took a deep breath.

"It's because of Kyle, right?"

Stan cringed. He hasn't heard that name in such a long time, since Gary doesn't bring him up either. Did Stan still love him? Yeah, probably. But it was okay, he was with Gary now and he didn't think as much of Kyle as he used to. Part of him will always love Kyle and he accepted that.

"Maybe."

"You should talk. You two used to be so close. Anyway, let's go."

"Gary." Stan doesn't follow him, when Gary walks to the exit, so his boyfriend stops and sighs, turning around.

"What?"

"I love him," Stan confessed. "I... That's what happened."

"You... love Kyle?" Gary was shocked by that and Stan shrugs, nodding.

"Yeah."

"Wow. That's a lot to take in. Why did you have to tell me this when we're about to meet our parents?"

"I don't know!" Stan's voice was panicked. He really didn't know, he just had to let Gary know. He deserved to know, because Stan doesn't know what will happen once he sees Kyle again. It's been three and a half years.

Gary walked to him and then sighs before smiling and placing one hand on Stan's cheek. "I should've known. You two were always so gay with each other."

Stan laughed. "You know, we weren't together or anything. I only realized when I was in Virginia that I am."

Gary nodded and then looks down. "Do you love him more than me?"

"What? No! We never dated. It's just different, he's my best friend. I mean, was. He was my best friend. It's you now. I guess, he'll just always be my 'what if', you know?"

Gary looked up again and kissed him. "Okay, thank you for telling me. I'll try not to be the jealous boyfriend when you talk to him." Of course he won't be. Gary winks at Stan and takes his hand in his.

"I'm not going to talk to him," Stan said.

"You will," Gary replied. "Not because I tell you to, because I know you will. That's just how you are."

No, that was a lie. The last time he was in South Park, he had avoided Kyle. So he just sighed and follows Gary outside to greet their parents that were picking them up.

 

* * *

 

"Stan!" Wendy throws her arms around him and pulls him into a hug. "I'm so glad you could make it!"

Stan laughs and when they part, he finally is able to take a look on her. She has changed. Yeah, they had tried to stay in contact and even met up twice during their break, but after a while they have kind of drifted apart. She's still as pretty as ever, her hair was short now, though. It suits her.

"I like what you did with your hair," he says.

"Really? Thanks." Wendy beams at him.

"Cartman probably too, huh?" That was supposed to be a joke, but when Wendy blushes, he realizes that she still loves him. "After all this time?"

"Shut up, Marsh. By the way, I like your scruff." She puts her hand on his chin. "Makes you look hot." Stan laughs and she does too. "Oh, and I tried with name tags, but I gave up. Everyone took the names from someone else anyway."

"Is my name still there?"

"Nah. I think Clyde has yours now." She just shrugs and Stan chuckles, looking down at the table where name tags were displayed.

"I'll guess I'll go as... Scott Malkinson then." He takes the name tag and clips it in his shirt.

"Gah! Where's my name?"

Wait... Stan turns around to see Tweek. "Tweek _Tweak_?" Seeing Tweek was different than seeing anyone else, since that boy has moved to Aurora right before High School. They all haven't seen each other in over seven years.

"Stan?" The blond boy looks up and smiles.

"Wow, it's been years! You look good!" Yeah, he wasn't twitching or shaking and he actually was really good looking. Stan wonders what will happen once Craig sees him. It had been obvious that Craig had a crush on his fake boyfriend.

"Yeah, you really do. I'm so happy everyone came! Well, almost everyone," Wendy chirped. "Now, just go inside! Wait, is that Lola? She dyed her hair _blue_?" She quickly leaves and Stan decides to go inside. When he enters the room, he thinks that maybe he should've told Tweek that he won't find his name on that table.

Wow, the nostalgia. Everywhere were familiar faces, but he didn't care about them. His eyes immediately darted around to look for Kyle. He searches for a mop of red curls or a green ushanka. Before he can find him, Gary approaches him.

"Hey," his boyfriend says. "I just saw Douglas and Francis over there, I'll go catch up with them."

"What? You're going to leave me alone?"

Gary rolls his eyes. "You have friends too. And I bet they won't be too angry that you literally never returned any of their calls or texts. Ever."

"Thanks for reminding me I was a dick, dick." Somehow it was their thing, calling each other 'dick'. Like he and Kyle always called each other 'dude'. Speaking of, where was he?

His boyfriend shrugs. "And as for Kyle... talk to him. Don't make me jealous, though." He's joking. Gary is never really jealous, even if other guys hit on Stan. That kind of sometimes pisses Stan off though. He's too carefree when it comes to those things. Well, maybe he's not so perfect after all. "Anyway, I'll go." He pats his shoulder and Stan nods.

Then, he leans in to give Gary a kiss. Gary returns it quickly before leaving him. Stan needed that kiss. He needed a quick reminder that he was with Gary now and he loved him, so no matter what, he'll feel once he sees Kyle, it won't change anything at all.

He was happy now, finally, after a long time of feeling miserable for letting Kyle go. He was not going to destroy his new found happiness.

 

* * *

* * *

 

**KYLE**

Stan was here. He was here. Hugging Wendy.

Even though he can't see him, because his back was to Kyle, he could always identify him. He ran inside quickly before Stan could turn around to see him too.

He had thought he could do this, but he couldn't. It had been three years, for gods sake! He should be okay! When it came to Stan, time was a fucking joke. He had thought he could get over Stan with dating David, wrong. He had thought being apart from him and staying in CSU would too, but that was also wrong. This didn't mean he regret his decision though.

Kyle runs to Craig and Kenny, the latter one was easy to spot. While almost everyone has changed so much, Kenny still wore his orange parka.

"Alright, I’m not- Kyle?"

"What’s up?“, Kenny asks.

"Stan," he replies.

"What?"

"Stan’s here! I don’t know if he saw me, but…" His voice is shaking and clenching his fists. "I can’t see him! I can’t, alright?"

"Okay,“ Kenny says. 

"You have to see him sooner or later," Craig says and Kyle shoots him an angry glare. Why does that guy always have to say the ugly truth?

"Hide me! Please!“ Was that childish?

"It’s too late for that, Kyle,“ Kenny says and turns him around.

And there he was. Stanley Randall Marsh. Seeing him for the first time in over three years was worse than he could've imagined. Really. Stan looked different, but _good._ He looked gorgeous. Sure, he had always looked good before, especially in Kyle's eyes. He was biased, because he was super in love. Now everyone could see that Stan was probably a fucking god walking in. He looked taller and broader, more muscular, his jawline and cheekbones more defined. And his tan made his blue eyes stand out more... and _fuck._

Kyle had always loved his dark hair, but Stan always insisted on wearing his hat, but not he didn't and he just looked so damn good. And a scruff?! Seriously? Who did he think he was? Some model?!

"Fuck, he looks good," Kyle breathes. That wasn't all. Over the last few years he of course hasn't gotten over Stan, but his feelings have calmed down. Now they all came back, as if they've just been waiting for this moment.

"Talk to him,“ Kenny suggests. "It’s been years, man. He probably misses you too and isn’t angry anymore.“

"What exactly happened between you two anyways?" It was the first time Craig asked.

"It’s a long story." Kyle sighs. "Maybe you’re right. I should just… go talk to him." Ha, as if. He can't do that, it just isn't possible for him.

Gary Harrison approaches Stan. Putting his hand on his shoulder and Kyle's jealous. Of course he doesn't have the right to, they're just friends and- _wait._ Did they just kiss?! Did Stan just lean in to kiss Gary? It had looked so casual, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"What the fuck just happened?", Kenny asks. "Is Stan…"

"He’s gay?!“, Kyle yells. He can't believe this. It's one thing that Stan didn't return his feelings, of course he wouldn't. Kyle had known that his best friend was super straight when he confessed to Stan, he never expected Stan to return them. But apparently he wasn't. Apparently he just hasn't been attracted to _Kyle._

This hurts too much. When Stan walks over them, Kyle wants to shout and cry at the same time.

"Hey, guys!“, he says, and Kyle just runs away. He can't see him or talk with him.

"Kyle!“, Stan shouts after him.

* * *

 He should just go home, to be honest. Who would've thought this would be so awful? This was a thousand times worse than seeing David on campus all the time after they'd broken up. He was used to it by now anyway and they even greet each other. He was here somewhere too, probably with Kevin and the other guys.

"You can't just drink the whole time," Kenny says.

"Watch me," Kyle replies, chugging another bottle of beer.

"What’s up with him?“, Craig asks.

"He’s drunk as fuck,“ Kenny explains.

Craig takes off Kyle’s hat and Kyle jumps up, trying to get it back. It was impossible. 1. Craig was almost ten inches taller than him and 2. Kyle really _was_ drunk as fuck. "Craig, you asshole!“

"Why are you wearing that shit again?“ 

"I don’t know! I just- wanted it to all be like before, okay? I know it’s stupid. I hate this, I should go home. I hate this, I hate him, why is this happening?“ Kyle buries his head in his face again. He can't be here anymore. "Craig, get me home!“

"I’m not doing shit,“ Craig replies and then looks to Tweek. Oh, Tweek was here too? Whatever.

Kyle spreads out his arms and wraps them around Craig’s neck. "I thought we’re friends.“

"You’re friends?“, Tweek asks, surprised.

"Best friends,“ Kenny jokes. 

Craig groans. "Ask Kenny.“

"Kenny is too drunk to drive me!“

"Hey!“

"And nobody else is leaving and you’re like the only other person I trust. Clyde is also probably drunk somewhere and Butters doesn’t have a car.“ Kyle looks at him with big eyes. "Pretty please?“

"I don’t have a car either! Token’s the driver.“

"Oh.“

"I can drive you,“ Tweek suggests after a while.

"What? No way! You just came back like, today after seven years!“ Kyle turns around to Tweek. Was he a dick for not greeting him? How had it been for Craig to see Tweek again? Not awful probably, because Tweek was cute and they still had a chance. "Wow, you look cute. Why did everyone get hot over the years? Have you seen Stan?“

"Uh, yeah. I-I guess he looks… good?“

"He’s super hot,“ Kyle whispers, still loud enough for the three to hear. Super hot. Now he will probably jack off to the new Stan when he gets home and he hates himself for it. "It’s super unfair. I always knew he was hot, but man. I’d tap that. I wanted to tap that even before.“ He sighs and tugs at Tweek’s hair. "You too. I’m not surprised Craig is gay. Who wouldn’t after they’d dated you?“

Clyde and Token were all over each other, so it wouldn't surprise when Craig would be too. Their whole gang had someone, except for him. Butters had some secret boyfriend, he doesn't tell anyone about.

Kenny laughs and shoves Kyle away from Tweek. "Man, calm down. Also don't try your luck on Craig.“

"You’re gay?“, Tweek asks him.

"Who isn’t? South Park’s water is poisoned. The last guy I would’ve thought to be gay was Stan. Or Token. And look where we are.“ Kyle sighs. How was this fair? The man he loves was gay after all, but just didn't care for him.

"Don’t blame it on the water,“ Kenny says.

Maybe on Gary fucking Harrison. Of course Stan would fall for him and not for Kyle. Kyle was just his nerdy, Jewish, short, red head best friend. Gary Harrison on the other hand was tall and good looking (when the girls made another list in their last year of High School, he was ranked place two of the most attractive boys in the year, right after Kenny and before Stan. If they'd make another one, Kyle was sure Stan would be on the first place now).

And Gary was _perfect._ He was cool and funny and... God, Kyle hated him so fucking much. There's literally nothing he can complain about Gary. He wishes he could at least talk shit about the way he dressed, or that he was stupid, but no, that sadly wasn't the case.

These were going to be the worst weeks of his life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @ my tumblr [kylebroflovskis](redrobin.co.vu)


	6. Retell of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You?! Are you kidding me? You were the one who fucking left me! You were the one who just decided to live together with your stupid boyfriend was better than be with me! You know, all of this, it's because of you. This really could've been us, you know?!"
> 
> "This couldn't have been us, Stan. You don't love me. And that's a damn good reason. I didn't leave for CSU because of David and you know it."
> 
> But he did love him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *caps hands* MORE DRAMA  
> srsly i think this is just one huge telenovela by now

* * *

**STAN**

He felt awful.

It was his fault Kyle couldn't enjoy this reunion. When he entered Cartman's place, that guy eyed him and then said: "We won't talk about you fags."

"What?"

"No words about Kyle, okay? I don't need that kind of negativity in my place."

" _What_?!"It had been two years since he had talked to Cartman, the last time being on New Year's eve. Cartman lets him inside and he sits down next to Kenny, who was on the couch.

"Don't ask, he has been like that for years now. You get used to it," Kenny explains. He closes his eyes, a joint in his hands and smoke escaping his lips as he breathes out. "You would know, if you'd like, you know, returned my texts and calls."

"I'm sorry," Stan says.

"Yeah, you know, just because you and Kyle had a fight that doesn't mean we can't be friends anymore," Kenny explains and Stan bites down on his lower lip. Yeah, he had been an ass.

"Sorry, guys."

Cartman groans. "What have I just said? And Butters, get off your phone. Stop sexting your boyfriend!"

"You have a boyfriend?", Stan asks Butters, surprised. The boy just blushes and shakes his head.

"What? I- No! I don't!"

"Stop lying, Buttercup," Kenny says, to which Butters just hides his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Eric. I'm not going to be on my phone anymore. Oh boy, Stan! We should totally catch up! How have you been there? I bet Virginia is a nice place!"

Stan shrugs. "I got gay," he jokes. "Just kidding. Bi."

"Everyone is a little bit," Kenny agrees. "But who would've thought?"

"Me," Cartman replies. "I've always known you like it up your ass. Just didn't admit it. Probably the reason you couldn't keep Wendy."

Stan raises his eyebrows. "I talked with her yesterday. I hear you two are still... a thing, but also kind of not?" Apparently Cartman has confessed his love to her during prom and she liked him back, but didn't want to be with him until he was a changed man.

Which was like, two years ago, until he then turned her down, because he still didn't think he was good enough for her. Which was kind of true. It was complicated.

"So long have you and Gary been a thing?", Kenny asks.

"Uh, our six month anniversary was like two weeks ago," Stan replies. "Is it okay if he's coming tonight with us?"

"No," Cartman replies, while Butters immediately replies. "Of course!"

"Butters, you dipshit!", Cartman shouts.

"Stan, you know we're all Team Kyle, right?"

"What?" Stan was confused.

"We want you to be with Kyle and not with Gary," Kenny explains.

"He isn't with David anymore?!"

They all exchange glances and then Cartman sighs. "Please, let's not talk about Kyle anymore, okay? Let's just get going. Who cares about Kahl anyway. Tell your fucking boyfriend, he can come too. Craig and his stupid guys are there anyway, it doesn't hurt for someone else to come too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, do it. I want to know which guy could make Stan fall in love with him without having to have boobs," Kenny jokes, grinning. Stan grins back. He's glad for Kenny and he deeply regrets that he cut the ties with Kenny.

 

* * *

* * *

 

**KYLE**

Every South Park friendship group was kind of not welcoming him right now.

Okay, there was Craig, and Kyle was sure that he wouldn't say no, if Kyle just asked, but that was just wrong. Craig's gang was back to their original five for the first time in seven years, they wanted to be together.

Then there was _his_ friendship group, but Kyle can't go there, because Stan's there. And Kevin, Jason, Bradley and David are also off the list, because David's his ex boyfriend. Douglas, Scott, Francis and Chris are also not that close to him, plus they're Gary's former clique. And then there were Wendy's girls and...

Let's just say, Kyle didn't know where to go, so now he was here with the foreign kids. Gregory, Christophe, Damien and Pip. The latter two confused him, because wasn't Pip supposed to be dead? Kyle sighs. This was South Park after all.

Being with them was also sort of depressing, because they were both couples and then there was Kyle, who didn't have anyone.

"Kyle? Oh, it's really you!" Wendy approached them, smiling. "Ah, you're here with Gregory and Christophe!"

Damien cleared his throat, his eyes lighting up red in the dark. "Sorry, didn't see you there," Wendy apologizes and then turns back to Kyle. "We're going to Skeeter's. Wanna join?"

Kyle shrugs.

"Yeah, we'd like to," Gregory says and Christophe scoffs, muttering something french.

"Isn't... Stan going to be there?", Kyle asks, quietly.

"Seriously?" Wendy sighs, rolling her eyes. "It's been over three years, Kyle! You two should just talk!"

"What, like you and Cartman?" Kyle grins and Wendy glares at him.

"For your information, I'm planning to talk with him. Will you? You both miss each other, so just get over yourself."

Kyle looks down and shakes his head. "I was able to live three years of my life without him, I can keep doing it."

"You are such a pain in the ass," Damien said. "Let's just not waste any more time and get going to that... bar."

* * *

 

"'Sup?“

"If I wouldn’t know better, you’re asking me how I am.“ Kyle smiles and Craig rolls his eyes. "I really didn’t want to come here, but these guys convinced me.“

Kyle knows who he's talking about. His eyes go to the table where Craig's gang and Stan and the others were. But instead of Kyle there was Gary now. He has literally replaced him in every single way. That should be _him_ , not that guy.

"We were not going to come 'ere alone,“ Christophe says, his arm loosely around his boyfriend and a cigarette between his lips.

"You’re not allowed to smoke,“ Craig points out.

"Since when do they care here?“, Christophe asks and Craig reaches out his hand.

"Give me one.“

"Non.“

Gregory pushes him lightly. "Come on, Christophe!“

Christophe groans and puts a cigarette in Craig’s hand. "'ere you go. Now go away.“

"Wendy said you were two couples,“ Craig says and Kyle nods. 

"Yeah, Damien and Pip are here too,“ he says. These two have disappeared some time, who knows what for. It was weird anyway, as far as Kyle could tell Damien once turned him into a firework or something. It had been so long ago and even though their life had been crazy, he wishes these times back. When he and Stan were 'Super Best Friends'.

"What? Since when are they a thing?“

"Maybe they met in hell,“ Kyle suggests and laughs at that thought. "I’m okay, you don’t have to worry, by the way.“ But he was really thankful for that. It's weird that he and Craig are so close now, since they've never been in High School, but it was nice. Plus, Craig also disliked Stan, which was nice too.

"I don’t worry about you,“ Craig says.

"Sure.“ Kyle grins and Craig rolls his eyes.

"Alright.“ He walks back to Tweek who looks at him and Kyle sighs. Even these two had a chance, how was that fair? They haven't seen each other in seven years! It hurts. It just really hurts.

 

* * *

* * *

 

**STAN**

"You know, I hate it when you fucking drown your problems in alcohol," Gary says. Maybe Stan was a little bit drunk and maybe Gary was right, but that wasn't going to stop him. "Just go talk to him for god's sake."

 "Okay."

"Wait, what?"

"I'll talk to him," Stan says. "Look, Wendy and Cartman are too." He points at the one table, where only these two are sitting and making love eyes at each other. Kenny was somewhere getting drunk with Damien, from where these two knew each other so fell was a mystery to everyone. According to Kenny they were friends because 'he had been to hell so often', but nobody knew what he meant by that.

"Yeah, but you're _drunk_. Don't talk to him when you're drunk!"

"Nah, I'm totally fine," Stan says and then kissed his boyfriend.

"Look, you're not, you dick."

"Stop calling me a dick," Stan says and Gary just chuckles.

"I'll stop when you stop being one."

"Look, I'll talk with him. We'll all make it less awkward, okay? Oh, look!" He pointed at Gregory, who was now leaving the table Kyle and he had been sitting at to talk to Bebe. "He's alone! That's my moment! Everything will be great!"

Gregory sighed, when Stan stood up and walked to Stan. "Hey!"

Kyle looked up in shock. It was so weird to see him again and that without his hat. "... Hi."

"Can I sit down?", Stan asks and Kyle nods slowly. Then, Stan sits down next to him and smiles. "Uh... It's been a long time."

"Yeah, I guess." Kyle looks down.

"You're not wearing your hat anymore," Stan says. "I liked your hat. I mean, not that I prefer it to you not wearing it. It looks good. I mean, _you_ look good. I like your hair. Your little pony tail is kind of cute."

Fuck. What the fuck was he saying? He had thought he didn't have such strong feelings for Kyle anymore. But now that he was sitting right next to him and _talking_ with him, everything came back. Plus, the was a little bit tipsy.

"Stan, can you please _not_?!"

"I- Sorry. That was awkward. Your hair looks stupid, it's not cute. I mean, of course it does, dude. It's just- not _that_ kind of cute. Haha. I mean, you _are,_ but it's like. No Homo. Did I just say this? I'm sorry, I'm kind of drunk now..."

"And you think the perfect time to talk with me about everything is when you're drunk and we're in a bar?" Kyle was pissed.

"No! Yeah... Sorry. I know, it's a stupid idea. But you were there and... it's been so long. I missed you, dude. I just can't not talk to you."

Kyle stood up. "Fuck you, Stan!"

"What?"

"You don't get to tell me that, okay? You don't know how fucking hard it is to sit here and..." Kyle's voice was shaking and he closed his eyes to calm himself down. "You're such an ass."

"I'm an ass? Why?"

"Why?! You think it's fair? You just come into my life again and you're dating Gary Harrison, for god's sake and then you come here, _drunk_ and call me cute! Why do you always have that stupid habit of calling me cute anyway? Do you know how it makes me feel?"

 _Because you_ are _cute._ Kyle was really gorgeous.

"Don't drag Gary in this," Stan blurted out.

"So that's all you got from it? You only care about your boyfriend? Well, congratulations. I hope you two are happy with the life that was supposed to be _ours_! I should be the one who's living with you there and... _be_ with you! Don't be such an asshole, Stan and rub your perfect new life in my face."

Now Stan was pissed too. He stood up. "You?! Are you kidding me? _You_ were the one who fucking left me! You were the one who just decided to live together with your stupid boyfriend was better than be with me! You know, all of this, it's because of _you._ This really could've been us, you know?!

Don't just blame everything on me, Kyle."

"This _couldn't_ have been us, Stan. You don't love me. And that's a damn good reason. I didn't leave for CSU because of David and you know it."

But he _did_ love him! "Yes, and it happened. So stop being such a bitch about it, okay? You still left me. You know how it was like? In Virginia? I was all alone, my friends and family were gone, I wasn't back to South Park in over a year and that was two years ago! What did _you_ do? Just fuck David even though you probably thought of me all the time?"

Kyle looked at him in shock and then suddenly somebody threw a punch. It wasn't Kyle, though. Stan hadn't seen it coming and now he was on the ground, looking up to David. Apparently everyone in this bar was by now following their fight.

"Don't talk to him like this!", the guy shouted.

"Fuck!" Stan groaned. "What was _that_ for? You're not together anymore as far as I know!"

"I still care for him, okay? More than you apparently." David turned to Kyle. "Kyle, I'm sorry. I just had to step in. Is everything alright?"

How dare he? He has no right to look at Kyle like that! They were over, these two were history! That guy had stolen Kyle from him once and Stan hated even more now. He jumped up on his feet again and urged forward to get back to David, but arms curled around Stan's waist. "Don't," Gary said. "Calm down."

"Let me go!"

"Stan, shut the hell up and just calm down," his boyfriend said and Stan groaned.

"I hate you."

"No you don't, you love me. Now look at me." Gary turned him around and put his hand on Stan's cheek. "Let's get you out of here, okay? You're too drunk, I told you it's a bad idea." He tilted Stan's head to get a look at Stan's eye David punched. "I guess it's going to bruise."

Gary smiled and kissed him softly on his cheek. "Are you okay?"

Stan nodded. "Yeah." He had calmed down and nodded. "Thank you."

Kyle rushed past them and ran outside. "Kyle, wait!", Stan and David shouted in unison. Stan let go of Gary and then shot David an angry glare.

"All of this is _your_ fault," he said.

"Fuck off, Marsh." Ah, so now they were on a last name basis. He was okay with this.

"Forget it." He runs outside the bar too. There are Tweek and Craig standing next to each other and smoking. Are they an item now again? Who knows. Stan doesn't really care, though. All he cares for is Kyle right now, but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Have you seen Kyle?!“, he asks them.

"He just drove away,“ Craig says. "He’s pretty pissed.“

"I’m pissed too, but this is so stupid. We should just talk!“

"I really don’t care, Marsh,“ Craig replies.

"When did they break up?“, he asks.

"What?“

"David and Kyle.“

"About two years ago. Or longer. They didn’t make it through the second semester,“ Craig replies. _What_? Stan had thought it had only just been recently. But no, that had been so long ago. Even before Stan had returned to South Park. If he would've just talked to him back then... maybe then they'd be together now. Maybe he and Kyle would've had a chance... It was too late for that now anyway.

He feels like everything between them goes like this. They're always too late.

"Oh. I thought… I can’t believe he threw Virginia away for such a short relationship.“

"You don’t have anything to say, Marsh,“ Craig says. "Go back to your boyfriend.“

"Gary’s not part of this whole mess-"

"I know. He’s not such a pain in the ass like you.“ Craig grabs Tweek’s arm and pulls him with him into the bar again. 

Craig's right. Of course, Stan was the dick right now, but Kyle was one too. Why did everyone think it was all his fault? There are always two sides of the story.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kenny comes outside. "I convinced your boyfriend that it's enough if I check up on you."

"Thank you," Stan replies, smiling. "I don't think I want to see him right now." No, he had too confusing feelings. Mostly, because he kind of wishes, he would be with Kyle instead of Gary now.

"I know. I still know you really well, even if you were a dick and we haven't talked in years."

Stan looked down. "I'm sorry," he says again.

"I guess I understand. Kyle told me everything about your fight. Took him a long while to open up to me about what happened, though," he explained. Stan leans back, his head against the wall and sighs.

"What do you think?"

"You're kind of a jerk," Kenny says. "And I'm on Kyle's side."

"Nobody even _listens_ to my side!"

Kenny tilts his head. "What is there to listen? You turned him down, went to Virginia and I know, you were butt hurt and lonely, but you got over it. You cut off all ties to us, except for Wendy. And then you kind of discovered you were bi and now you're fucking Gary. Who, by the way, I've always tried to get into the pants. Never worked. How did you do it?"

Stan chuckled and then shook his head. "That's not everything. It was _hard_ for me too, you know?"

"What? You had a sexuality crisis and your best friend wasn't there to help you? Sorry. I'm kind of a jerk now too." Kenny laughs and Stan shrugs.

"No. I'm in love with my best friend."

"So, Gary's your best friend now, huh?"

"No- I mean. Yeah, but that's not what I meant. I meant Kyle."

Kenny's laughter dies immediately and he looks to Stan, eyes wide. "What?!"

"I love Kyle," Stan explains. "I mean... it was only a few weeks after our fight, when I was in college. I realized that I liked him too."

"Are you fucking _serious,_ Stan?!"

"I realized it too late. He was with David and I was in Virginia. It was hard, you know? Two years until I was able to kind of move on. And Gary is... You know, he's great. I was so alone in Virginia and he was the only one I had and he helped me get through all of this." Stan smiles. "Part of me always loved Kyle, even though I was with Gary, but when I saw Kyle again... _fuck."_

"Tell him!", Kenny shouts.

"No."

"What?"

"I still love Gary! I want to be with _him,_ not Kyle," Stan replied.

Kenny groaned. "So that's your final decision? Gary?"

"Yes," Stan replies."You don't know everything. Gary's..." He smiles, thinking about Gary had just calmed him down in the bar. "He's the one I'm in love now."

"That's nice to hear." Another voice appears and Kenny and Stan turn around to see Gary standing there.

"How long have you been here?"

"Since Kenny said 'tell him'," Gary replies and then Stan looks down.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Stan. The last part was kind of cheesy, though, but I love you too. And now let's get you the fuck home." He takes Stan's hand and then looks to Kenny. "Thanks, man."

"No problem. And... This is nothing against you. You're a cool guy, it's just Kyle's my friend. You know I don't hate you or anything."

"I know, you tried to get into my pants," Gary replies, grinning and Kenny laughed too. Yeah, it would be impossible for Stan to break up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all charas exist  
> garysclique consists of scott malkinson, francis (that jewish boy), douglas (the guy with the grey hat also was seen with craig in a creek drawing on the show) and chris donnely (kyles loyal elf servant in stick of truth)


	7. Living in the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're wearing glasses again," Stan blurts out.  
> The new Kyle had no glasses and no hat. Stan liked the new Kyle's look, but seeing him with his old glasses was nice too.  
> "Yeah, I don't always wear contact lenses," Kyle replied. He stopped in front of Stan and bit down on his lower lip. "What are you doing here, Stan?"  
> "I... I don't know. Wanted to see you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no update yesterday (sry) bc i was kinda busy  
> anyway here we go

**KYLE**

"You’re a good friend, you know? Who would’ve thought we’d get along so well?“, he asks and Craig shrugs. Kyle had just told Craig everything what had happened between him and Stan. He doesn't know why he had decided to, but he trusted Craig.

He wasn't drunk or anything, he actually felt more sober than ever in his life. They're outside in front of the Middle Park club and everyone else was inside, waiting for them. "So… how are you and Tweek?“

"He used to have a crush on me,“ Craig tells him. "We found that out today. We liked each other, but none of us idiots said anything.“ Wow, that would be awful. If he and Stan would've liked each other at the same time, but none of them said anything...

"And he doesn’t anymore?“

"Nah, he told me that was in the past and we should move on.“

"You can’t,“ Kyle states and Craig sighs. Of course he can't. He understands Craig so well, probably better than anyone else. He had tried too, to move on from Stan, but it just wasn't possible. "So you still have, after all these years, a big fucking crush on him?“

"Yeah.“ Craig looks down on the ground. Kyle smiled, because he was so honest with them. "Why can’t we be like Token and Clyde?“

Kyle sighs. "Yeah. Should’ve never told Stan I loved him. I should’ve done it like these two, keep texting him until he falls in love with me.“ Yeah, that's just what happened. They lived thousands of miles away from each other and never had feelings for each other during High School, but since they had been apart, they had started to text and call each other constantly. It somehow ended up with them being totally heads over heels for the other and now that they finally met again after about two years, they were together.

Craig grins and Kyle does too. "So, we’re hopeless cases, right?“

"Yeah.“

"Well, me more than you.“ Nobody had so many relationship problems like Kyle had. Which was stupid, because he and Stan currently didn't have a relationship. Literally. They weren't even friends anymore.

"True.“

"Hey!“ Kyle shoves him and Craig shrugs.

 _They weren't even friends anymore_! This was a good thing! "Let’s make a deal,“ Kyle says.

"What deal?“

"We’ll win them over. I’ll get Stan back.“ He grins.

"Are you serious?“, Craig asks and Kyle nods.

"Let’s not go down without a fight, okay? I mean, we don’t have anything to lose anyway. I already lost his friendship.“

"I’d lose his friendship and I just recently got it,“ Craig answers and Kyle sighs. Okay, maybe Craig won't try to do it, but Kyle will. Fuck Gary Harrison and yes, it was unfair, since he was a good guy, but this was _Stan._ He won't give up without a fight, not again. He has done this once, he wasn't going to let go Stan again. He had to try, one last time.

 

* * *

 

_You know, just be his friend again. I know it’s hard, but Stan and Gary are not going to marry… At least I hope. Just be patient and one day he’ll realize he loves you._

That had been Kenny's advice. Now that Kyle has made it his mission to win Stan back, maybe that was the best idea. Or at least he didn't know how else to do it. And they didn't have that much time, Stan was also going to go back to Virginia some day!

Here's how it was right now: They were all at Stark's Pond, even brought extra benches and beer with them, all sitting around. Butters had come in with tears in his eyes and his friends (Kyle, Clyde, Kenny, Token, Clyde and even Tweek) were there to comfort him. Butters confesses he had secretly dated Trent Boyett, yes, the fucking guy who tried to kill them once, after he was released from juvenile hall. The second time he came out, he just didn't get near the boys ever again, which was probably for the better.

Anyway, Trent broke up with Butters and now he was sad. And then Stan and Cartman came and somehow... Kyle had just talked with him to explain him what happened. After they talked with Butters, he has slowly stopped crying.

„Can we… get drunk now?“, Butters asks.

Cartman starts laughing. "Of course we can. Can we sit down or is it too full?"

Everyone's eyes were on Kyle. There were only free seats next to him and he takes a deep breath, thinking of Kenny's words, before he nods. He shifts closer to Kenny, so Stan can sit down next to him. It's awkward, but then Kyle looks to Stan and smiles at him and Stan smiles back.

Oh god, how he had missed that smile.

"You... Want a beer?", Kyle asks him.

"Uh. Sure."

Kyle ignores everyone around him, when he puts the beer in Stan's hands.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

There's another awkward silence between them. "Uh... I'm sorry about the other day by the way," Stan says and Kyle nods.

"It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

Kyle shrugs. "Let's move on, okay?"

Stan looks at him for a while and Kyle wants to take his words back, but then Stan smiles again. That Stan smile, that smile that was just for him and him alone. He has missed it so much. "Okay."

Kyle brings up his glass of beer and theirs cling it against each other before drinking their beers. Kyle doesn't know where Gary is right now and he doesn't really care anyway.

"So... Butters and Trent, huh?", Stan asks.

Kyle laughs. "Dude, I haven't seen that coming too. Maybe Butters likes this whole 'opposites attract' stuff." He shrugs.

"I just can't believe this. Remember when we tried to get Trent off our backs and the sixth graders wanted a boob pic from my mom?"

"Oh my god. Didn't we, like, give them a picture of Cartman's ass and told them that it was your mom's tits?" Now both of them are laughing and even though it still hurts, it also feels good.

"Hey, Stan. Tell me, how is the football team over there?", Clyde suddenly asks, interrupting them. Kyle's kind of annoyed, but even though they had just has a nice exchange of words, it had been totally awkward.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

**STAN**

He can't believe he is sitting in a bar with Craig Tucker. They have never been close, they have always been kind of rivals. Stan didn't hate him or anything or vice versa, but something about the other just had always bugged them. Now Stan had a good reason, he didn't like seeing him and Kyle that close. This should be _him_.

Drinking alone was a bad idea, had always been, so having Craig next to him was okay.

"Why are you here?“, Craig asks after a while. "Where’s your boyfriend?“

"He’s at his parents’ place,“ Stan says. "Their family is really close.“

"What, you’re not invited?“

"I am. I just…“ Stan shrugs. "His family is so perfect and then I look at mine and it’s broken.“ 

"Just because your parents are divorced doesn’t mean it’s broken,“ Craig replies and Stan smiles. That was kind of nice actually. And yeah, he's right. It was better this way, to be honest. His parents divorced when he was sixteen and it had been for the best.

"I know. But you just haven’t seen his. Next to the Harrison’s, every family seems broken.“ Stan sighs and leans back. "You hate me, don’t you?“

"I don’t hate you. I just don’t care for you." Craig didn't care for many things, he only seemed to care for his few friends and his fucking guinea pig. Now, Kyle was on the short list of people Craig cared about.

"It’s weird,“ Stan says. "To see you and him so close.“

"Jealous, Marsh?“ Craig tilts his head and Stan hesitates.

"Is there a reason to be?“

"No.“ Craig shakes his head. "Kyle hasn’t dated anyone since David.“

"Why did they break up?“

"As if I’m going to tell you,“ Craig says and Stan nods. Okay, he probably wouldn't tell Stan too, if he'd be in his place.

"I never wanted to hurt him,“ Stan whispers. "Everyone thinks I’m evil or something. Seriously, _everyone_. They don’t even blame Gary, because it’s impossible to hate him. Even my parents are angry at me, which is weird because they still also love Gary.“

It was awful. His parents were so fucking nice to Gary and once he was out of the room, they turned to Stan and were like: "You don't even deserve such a great guy! You should break up with him before you hurt him." To the question why Stan would hurt him, they just answered: "Because you and Kyle belong together."

"Why does everybody hate you?“

Stan rolls his eyes. "Obviously because everyone wants me and Kyle to be together,“ he explains. "They’re almost as bad with us as they have been with you and Tweek.“ He had been really confused back then, when the Asian girls just decided to draw Tweek and Craig.

Craig scoffs. "Kyle feels like shit right now and you turn it around so you’re the victim."

Stan furrows his brows. "Are you serious? Kyle’s not the victim either, okay? I have _no_ obligation to him. Nobody can push me to love him. _He_ started it, he was the one who threw out all of our plans out of the window just because he was head over heels in love with David! He was crazy, alright? Who would do all of that just for a guy you dated in high school?!“

"He told you he would come with you," Craig defends Kyle. "But you didn’t love him back.“

"Yes, but that’s not a reason to throw away your entire future!“ Stan takes a deep breath. Kyle should have been a little bit more patient. They could've lived together in their dorm and then Stan would've realized he was in love with Kyle too. Just a _few_ weeks more and then everything would've been different!

Stan's phone rings and he picks it up. „What’s up, Kenny?"

"Stan! Where are you?!" Kenny sounds breathless.

" Uh, I’m at Skeeter’s right now with Craig."

"Okay, that's not too far away from my place. I'll be there in like five minutes, okay? Something happened."

"Alright, we’re here." Stan shrugs. "Kenny’s pretty upset, I don’t know why. He’s probably here in less than five minutes, since he lives next to it."

They don’t say anything for a while, until Craig breaks the awkward silence between them again.

"You’re upset too,“ Craig says. "Because you hate that everybody wants you to be with Kyle." What? Does everyone think that's the reason? Because that was only half of it.

"No, that’s not the reason!“ Stan groans. "Okay, maybe it is. Everyone only knows his side of the story, not mine.“

Craig raises his brow. "I can imagine your side.“

"No, you can’t,“ Stan replies. That's the thing with everyone. Everyone thinks they know their story so well, as if they all know what's going on between them. Even Kyle doesn't know, the only one that do were Kenny and Gary. The latter one just to some extend, though. "It’s not like that. The only reason we can’t be together is because it’s too late."

Yes, that was the only reason...

"What?“, Craig asks, confused.

"Here you are!“ Kenny is out of breath, when he arrives at their table and sits down next to them. He takes Craig’s beer and drinks it.

"What the fuck.“ Craig rips it out of his hand again. "Get your own beer.“

"What’s up, Kenny?“, Stan asks him.

"I fucked up,“ he replies and takes a deep breath. „I fucked up, guys.“

"More than me?“, Stan asks and Kenny hesitates and shakes his head.

"I mean, sure, I’ve fucked up on a very high level, but you and Kyle are the most fucked up out of all of us,“ he replies and Stan chuckles. Yeah, it's almost funny how stupid whatever was between them was. It was frustrating and exhausting and Stan would rather just cry than drink his stupid beer.

"What did you do, McCormick?“, Craig asks him.

"I kissed Butters.“

"You _what_?!“, Stan shouts.

Kenny buries his face in his hands. "I kissed Butters, okay?“

"Stotch?" Was he serious? What else has Stan missed while he had been gone the last few years?

"You know any other Butters’?“, Craig asks Stan, who just shrugs. Stan pushes his beer over to Kenny.

"You need it more than me right now.“ He didn't want to drink it anymore anyway. Drinking won't help him solve his problems. Nothing will, to be honest.

"Thanks.“ Kenny takes it and downs it. He laughs and goes through his hair with his hand. "I don’t know how the fuck it even happened, okay? We were at Butters’ place, Kyle and me.“

"You made out in front of Kyle with Butters?“, Stan asks. Of course, all he can think of his Kyle and Kenny just rolls his eyes.

 

* * *

 

After hearing Kenny's story with Butters, he thinks that they're stupid.

Okay, not _them_. Kenny. It's just Kenny that's stupid. Apparently they've been in love with each other for a long time, since High School, but Kenny had turned Butters down, when Butters confessed his love. The reason? Kenny thought he was going to hold Butters back. Now, three years later, Butters still thinks Kenny doesn't love him back and still loves Kenny and Kenny does too.

They just had to get a grip! They were so _damn_ frustrating.

Somehow, this story is a realization, too. How frustrating he and Kyle were. They loved each other, right? They just kept missing each other. First, he and Wendy, then Kyle and David and now Stan and Gary. The difference with him and Wendy had been, that Kyle had still been his best friend through all of this.

He and Kyle were supposed to be together, his parents and everyone else was right. Maybe not romantically, but they were just meant for each other as best friends. He didn't want to let go Kyle again.

When Gary called him this morning, telling him that he and his family were having a field trip. Of course they were, the Harrison's were that way. So he found himself at 11am in front of the Broflovski's house.

It had been so long since he was here.

Three and a half years. He takes a deep breath, before ringing the bell. The door opens and there's Ike.

"Ike?" Stan's surprised to see him. He has gotten really tall. "Wow, you're fucking tall!"

"Six foot," Ike replies, proudly, grinning.

"Taller than your brother," Stan says.

"That's not hard. But I guess I'm lucky I don't carry the Broflovski's gene of being short," Ike replied and Stan chuckled. Ike was... what, sixteen now? A teenager, soon graduating High School. He had missed so many years and now Kyle's younger brother was almost as tall as Stan was.

"What are you doing here, Stan? You haven't been here in..."

"I know. Almost four years." Stan nods. "I'm sorry."

"I know what happened." Ike shrugged. "So... I'll call Kyle then?"

"Uh. Yeah..." Stan nodded and stepped inside. It had been so long since he had been here and it just felt right. It had always been like home. Yes, he had always considered Kyle's place to be home, not his. Not since his parents divorced and they moved. Their new house just didn't feel right. But Kyle's place... It just had _Kyle._ And where Kyle was, there was his home.

Ike runs up the stairs and Stan waits in the living room.

When he hears Kyle's footsteps coming down the stairs, he looks up. There he was. His former best friend, with glasses on his nose.

"You're wearing glasses again," Stan blurts out.

The new Kyle had no glasses and no hat. And he wears his curly hair sometimes in a tiny pony tail which looked really damn cute. Stan liked the new Kyle's look, but seeing him with his old glasses was nice too.

"Yeah, I don't always wear contact lenses," Kyle replied. He stopped in front of Stan and bit down on his lower lip. "What are you doing here, Stan?"

"I... I don't know. Wanted to see you? Ask you if you wanna, I dunno. Hang out or something?"

"You want to hang out? With me?"

"Yeah?"

Kyle stared at him in disbelief and then nodded. "Okay, sure. Let me get my jacket. Let's go eat somewhere, I'm hungry."

"Okay, dude."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> introducing..... bUNNY


	8. Denying the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stan, please don't lie to me." Kyle looks up, biting down on his lips. Stan wanted to hug him right here and now. "Just go to him."
> 
> "But Kyle..." He reaches out his hand, but Kyle draws back abruptly.
> 
> "Don't touch me!", Kyle shouts. "I mean- I'm okay with what is between us. But please, don't get my hopes up, okay?"

**KYLE**

 

"I never wanted to see this place ever again."

"I know." Kyle smiles at him."That's why we're here."

"What? You want to torture me?"

Kyle shrugs and Stan groans, as he opens the door to P.F. Chang's. "I haven't been here for a very long time too," Kyle confesses. It had to be honest hurt too much, because he had been here so often with Stan.

Okay, yes, that meant almost every other spot in South Park reminded him of Stan too and that was true.

"I haven't eaten Chinese Food for like four years now," Stan says.

"Really?"

"God, we used to be here so often." Yeah, almost every week of their life, because Kyle had won that gift certificate of $5000 for making the millionth's General Tao's a chicken joke.

"They also have a sushi master here now," Kyle tells him.

"Isn't that a Chinese restaurant?"

"Nobody cares. Everybody loves sushi." Kyle smiles and Stan rolls his eyes. A waiter immediately spots them.

"Ah! Kyle and Stan! It's been so long since you've been here!" Her thick Chinese accent makes it almost impossible to understand, but by now they were experts.

"Yeah, he was at college," Kyle explains.

"Good, sit down, my favorite boys!" She scoots them to their favorite place. She still remembers and when Kyle looks to Stan, he can see in his eyes, that Stan does too.

Yeah, it had been weird that Stan just appeared at his place to ask him to hang out, but Kyle was glad that he did. At first he wanted to decline, but then he remembered his deal with Craig. He will take every chance he can get to be with Stan, be it as his friend or not.

"The usual?"

"I can't believe you still remember," Stan says.

"Of course!" Mrs. Chang laughs. "I'll be right back!"

"There are so many great memories from this place, though," Stan says.

"Really?" Kyle tilts his head. "Your dad gave the biggest crap because of this food."

Stan laughs. "Don't remind me. But yeah."

"I guess having sex with Wendy in the bathroom was a great experience," Kyle said, shrugging. Stan blushed and he looked down. It had, as far as Kyle knew, the only time Wendy had agreed to public sex.

"That's- that's not what I meant. I meant, you know. Our times we were here. Like your birthdays."

Kyle smiled lightly. "Yeah, I guess."

Stan points at the napkin in front of him. "We used to make cool stuff out of them."

Kyle chuckles. "Yeah. Like a boat." He starts unfolding the napkin and folding it newly to a little boat. When he's finished, he holds it up, proudly. Stan grabs it out of his hands.

"Hey!"

"Looks great." Stan puts it on Kyle's head. "I've always wanted to do this, but you never wanted to take off your hat."

Kyle rolls his eyes. "I'm glad we can tick that off from the 'things you've always wanted to do' list."

"There are tons of other stuff."

"For example?"

Stan shrugs. "I don't know."

* * *

* * *

 

**STAN**

Of course he knew. There were so many things he wanted to do. That list was endless, most of them included Kyle.

He has always wanted to kiss Kyle. Hold his hand. Feel him under him. around him over him. He had always wanted to take Kyle out on a date, a real date. Kiss every single freckle on his skin, tell him how beautiful he was. He had always wanted to take off Kyle's glasses right before he kissed him. Stan wanted to feel Kyle's legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed him and pushed him against a wall. He had always wanted to know what it'll feel like if Kyle leaves hickeys on his skin.

He had always wanted to tell him how much he loved him.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this whole meeting has just been one big damn mistake. They didn't even talk about their awful fight they've had at Skeeter's. They don't talk about the fact that Kyle probably still loves him.

"Remember our tree house?"

"Of course." Kyle nodded. "You wanted to build it just so you could kiss Wendy."

"I was a stupid child."

"I know. I was disgusted by the thought of kissing Bebe. Guess I've always known I play for the other team." Kyle shrugged.

"Huh? What about Rebecca? And Leslie?"

"I have honestly no explanation for that," Kyle confessed and Stan laughs."I do remember when you were super jealous at me because me and Wendy played parents with that egg."

"Our Egg! Did it have a name?"

Kyle shrugged. "No idea."

Stan thinks about the egg they had to take care for. They had literally been the reason gay marriage had been legalized in Colorado. Or, well, one of the reasons.

Another point to the list:

He wanted to marry Kyle Broflovski.

 _Fuck._ He really did, didn't he? He had told Kenny that he had already made his decision and it was Gary he wanted to be with, but that had been before. That had been before he hung out with Kyle and realized that all that talk was bullshit.

Being really with Kyle again for the first time since he found out that he likes his best friend too, changed everything. It was one thing to sit in Virginia in his room and fantasize about his best friend and relive their memories, another thing to have him right next to you.

Stan had to hold himself back from not just kissing Kyle right here and now on his lips. He can't do this. He knows that he can't spend any more day with Kyle when they're just 'friends'.

Now he realizes how Kyle has felt all the years. He had felt exactly like Stan did right now. He wanted to tell him right now in this moment, how sorry he was.

"Stan?"

"Huh?"

"You... kind of drifted off," Kyle says.

"I... Yeah. Sorry. I have to go."

" _What_?"

"I'm meeting with Gary later," Stan lied. Okay, it wasn't a lie. He did want to meet Gary, but he had just decided it.

"Oh."

"Bye, dude. It was nice, you know?"

"Of course it was."

Fuck. Kyle looked sad. Even though they haven't seen each other for such a long time, he can still read him. "Kyle-"

"Just let it go, Stan. I get it."

"You get what?" Crap, he knew right? He knew he was in love with Kyle and about to break up with Gary! Well, then he understood Stan wasn't such an asshole. He first had to make things clear with Gary before he could tell Kyle.

"You want to go back to Gary. That... our meeting. Was just... nice. _"_

"No-"

"Stan, please don't lie to me." Kyle looks up, biting down on his lips. Stan wanted to hug him right here and now. "Just go to him."

"But Kyle..." He reaches out his hand, but Kyle draws back abruptly.

"Don't touch me!", Kyle shouts. "I mean- I'm okay with what is between us. But please, don't get my hopes up, okay?"

Again, there's the urge to hug him. Right before Stan does this, so he can tell him, that this wasn't his intention- well, it kind of was- Kyle runs away.

He understands it all. If he would've hugged Kyle, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself.

 _God,_ he was such a dick! Of course Kyle didn't go to Virginia with him! Stan can't even do this for one day, Kyle had done it for years! Holding himself back. Stan can't blame him anymore, for all he had done.

He would've done the same. He couldn't be around Kyle if they can't be together. He also can't see Kyle sad like that ever again. Stan hates himself for being the reason.

He has to break up with Gary.

When Stan arrives at his place, he calls his boyfriend.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Uh, are you still on your trip?"

"Yeah, why?"

"When are you coming back?"

"I don't know. Late night, probably," Gary replied. "Why?"

"I need to see you," Stan explains. "Can we meet up tonight then?"

"How about tomorrow? I'm probably too tired at the end of the day."

Stan took a deep breath. "Sure, of course."

"Okay, great, man. See you!" Gary hangs up and Stan feels awful. He loves Kyle, but Gary is great too. He was his best friend sort of and they live in a dorm together! He was going to ruin so many things between them and he has to move out of his dorm or it'll be too awkward.

That's why you don't start a relationship with your roommate.

He had to do it though. He was throwing his great relationship with Gary, but he couldn't help it. He _had_ to, because he sure as hell won't throw his and Kyle's away. Not anymore. This was the last time they were getting a chance, he had to take it.

* * *

 

"You really want to break up with him?"

"Yeah." Stan nods.

"Like less than two weeks ago at Skeeter's you said you were choosing Gary!" Kenny sounds kind of annoyed.

"I know! But I realized now that I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying to him and myself. I love Kyle." He always has. Stan smiles at this thought. Yes, he was going to break Gary's heart, but he'll have Kyle. Finally.

"Well, I guess that's good," Kenny said, nodding. "Poor Gary. You think he needs some cheering up from me?"

"You don't want to cheer him up," Stan replies. "You want to go to Butters and tell him you love him."

Kenny cringes. "I- I can't!"

"If I can do it, then you can do it too!" Stan shoves his friend. "We all just have to face the truth."

Kenny puts his face in his hands. "I don't know. I can't."

"You also can't run away from it. Geez, three years? How?!"

"How what?"

"I spent one day with Kyle again and I couldn't bear the thought that we both love each other but aren't together," Stan replied and Kenny laughed.

"Well. I don't know how I did it either. I was so jealous, you know? Not much of the girls that asked him out sometimes or the ones that slept with him. When he started dating _Trent._ God, I thought I'd lost him entirely and I felt awful, because I should've been happy." Kenny laughs. "You know, I pushed him away so he can find someone better and then I was scared once he did.

And now I'm so relieved they're not together anymore and he still loves me, but I still can't do it!"

"You're a douchebag," Stan says.  
"Hey! Don't compare me to that kid!"

Stan laughs. "Why not? He was a cool kid."

"I know. I used to have a crush on him. What even was his name?"

Stan shrugs. "I just know my dad loved him more than me. God, I miss that."

"What?"

"The old times. When we just roleplayed." He had been Stan Marshwalker, a warrior devoted to his Elf King. He would've done everything for Kyle, would've died for him. So basically, not much has changed since then.

"Okay, I don't want to hold you and your happiness back anymore," Kenny says. "Go over to Gary and break that poor boy's heart."

"Kenny!"

"What? It's true, dude!"

Stan groaned. He knew it was. "Yeah. Okay. Thanks for stopping by. Don't forget to talk to Butters!"

"Bye!" Kenny walks out of Stan's room and Stan shakes his head. He looks at his phone and texts Gary that he's coming over. Another text pops up on screen. He has filed a request to change dorms and they were apparently working on it.

He had also asked a friend of his if he could crash at his place for a while if it wouldn't work until he finds his own place. Luckily, his friend said yes (in exchange for money of course).

Everything was going to be fine.

 

Before he can find his happiness and be with Kyle, he had to do this first, though.

He didn't want to, but it was one of the few things you just have to do. Stan knocks on the door of the Harrison's and is greeted by Gary's father.

"Hey, Stan! Nice to see you! Gary's in his room. Will you stay for dinner?"

"Uh, no, thank you."

"Come on, you have to stay!"

"Nah, I have plans later." Stan puts his hands in the pockets of his jeans and smiles, before going upstairs to Gary's room. He knocks before he goes inside and when he enters, Gary's laying on his bed.

"I have an audition," he says.

"Huh?"

"For a TV show. Isn't that cool?" Gary smiles at him. "It's just a character that appears in one episode, but hey. It's something."

"Maybe you'll make it to Hollywood," Stan says.

"Better than the crappy ads I've been doing nowadays," Gary agrees and sits up.

"Uhm... Yeah." Stan scratches the back of his head and then sits down next to Gary. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"It's..." Stan looks down at his hands. "I-..." He never had to break up with anyone ever. Wendy always broke up with him and the last time wasn't really a break up. It had just been a mutual understanding that they were coming to an end.

"Stan. Please tell me it's not what I think it is."

"What do you think it is?"

"You're breaking up with me."

Stan winces. "Gary..."

"Fuck. I should've seen it coming. Even though you said you choose me, you didn't. Of course. He's your best friend, it's always been him, right?"

"Gary-"

Gary shakes his head. "Francis saw you together yesterday at P.F. Chang's. He told me, but I thought you were just going back to being friends. I was actually _happy_ for you."

"Gary, I'm sorry."

"I know you are." Gary turns away. "I guess that's it?"

"I... Yeah. Are you... okay?"

"Okay?" Gary shoots him an angry glare. "You just broke up with me. We've been dating for over half a year. We _live_ together. I didn't just lose my boyfriend, I also lost my best friend!"

Stan doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything.

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"I asked Jeff, he said it's okay when I sleep on his couch for a while. I also filled in a request to be moved to another dorm."

"You've thought this through, didn't you? How long have you wanted to?"

"Actually, I realized it yesterday when Kyle and I-"

"Stop." Gary stands up. "I don't want to hear that. Just... please go. I can't see you right now."

"Okay. I'm sorry." Stan stands up too, and before he walks out, he looks back. "I really did love you, you know?"

"That just makes it worse. Stan, just get the fuck out of here, okay?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor gary my child


	9. Accept the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You’re an idiot!“
> 
> "But I’m your idiot… if you still want me to be.“
> 
> "Of course, dude.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was literally no reason why i didnt update  
> i simply forgot  
> LMAOO  
> anyway look a very long chapter   
> also.... boom ratings going up

**KYLE**

"He doesn’t talk to me anymore,“ Craig says.

"That sucks.“ Basically, Craig and Kyle had agreed to study together, but when Craig came over, all he did was mope and talk about Tweek.

Apparently he found out about Craig's fuck buddy Michael (who he hasn't had sex with in half a year) and was now jealous and didn't talk to Craig anymore. Craig's just so oblivious, that he doesn't realize Tweek's jealous. Seriously? What other reason was there to not talk with him anymore than the fact that he was in love with Craig?

"Stan and I talk again,“ Kyle informs him.

"Yeah?“

"We just… I don’t know. Act like nothing happened, but not really. We’re not that close anymore, it’s weird and we haven’t talked about, you know.“ Kyle shrugs and sighs. He lets himself fall down on his bed and Craig does too. They’re next to each other and staring at the ceiling. "We’re such a mess.“

"True,“ Craig agrees.

"Maybe Kenny is right,“ Kyle says. "I should just be more patient and wait for Stan to realize one day. I mean, I have been so long and when I finally gave up on him, I realized I still can’t. So what’s the point in trying to get over him, when I can’t anyway?“

Hanging out with Stan had been nice yesterday, until he had run off to spend time with his boyfriend.

Craig closes his eyes and snorts. "Don’t take advice from McCormick. He’s a mess too.“

Kyle laughs. "You mean because of this whole Butters thing? Yeah, I know. He’s a mess. Who would’ve thought that he and Butters would be a thing?“

But everyone ends up with people they wouldn't think they would. Like Cartman and Wendy.

"Cartman’s a mess too.“

"What?“

"You know, him and Wendy.“

"How are  _they_ a mess?“

Kyle turns to Craig and grins. "Prom night was probably the most eventful night in our life,“ he explains. "Cartman confessed to Wendy that night."

"She turned him down,“ Craig deadpans.

"She told him she can’t be with him, if he’s… you know,  _Cartman_. She liked him too, but he was just him.“ Kyle shrugs. "So Cartman promised her he’ll change for her. She said she’ll wait for him.“

"Now he’s a changed man and they’re together. Why is that being a mess?“

Kyle sighs. "No, that’s not the whole story. Apparently one year after that she had already accepted the man he has become, but that time he had turned  _her_ down.“

"What? Why?“

"Because he felt like he wasn’t worth her love. I know, it’s stupid. So he turned her down, promised her he’ll get better and when she said she’ll wait for him, he also made her promise not to.“ Kyle rolled his eyes. "Now Eric’s company is really fucking successful and he and her might be finally together. When Cartman thinks he’s good enough for her.“

Craig lets that sink in for a while. "He’s not wrong. She _is_ too good for him.“

"She still loves him,“ Kyle replies. "She doesn’t care.“

Craig looks at Kyle. "Like you don’t care that Stan’s a dick?“

"He’s not,“ Kyle murmurs. But yeah, he's right. Even though Stan was kind of a dick sometimes, Kyle would still love him. Craig sits up.

"Yeah, he isn’t.“

"What?“ He was confused by that statement and sits up too.

"I talked with him the other day,“ Craig explains. "He likes you too.“ Kyle opens his mouth and before he can say anything, his mom is calling for him.

"Kyle! Stan is here!“

Stan? What is Stan doing here? And what the fuck was Craig talking about? Stan did not have feelings for Kyle! He turned him down and hasn't talked to him for years and is dating Gary Harrison!

Kyle jumps up and then grabs Craig and shoves him in the closet. Yeah, he really wasn't thinking straight right now.

"What are you doing?!“

"Stay here! I need to be alone with him,“ Kyle explains.

"Just- fuck. I’m not going into your closet, I’m already out.“ Craig gins about that pun. Okay, it was actually not that bad.

"Haha.“ Kyle rolls his eyes and closes the closet. What was he doing? He is so nervous and his heart beats faster so he looks quickly in the mirror and tries to fix his stupid hair. Then, he turns around to the door.

"Kyle!“

"Uh. Hi, Stan. What are you doing here?“ Kyle's voice was shaking and he had to sit down. Did Stan really have feelings for him?

"I… I wanted to talk to you,“ Stan explains. "Like, really talk. We need to have a talk.“

"I don’t know what to tell you,“ Kyle says. "You know everything. I- We’re finally talking again and are on good terms. I don’t think we’ll ever get back to where we were before, but this is fine too, Stan.“

"Really?“ Stan looks down to him and then sits next to Kyle. He was so close to him right now, their arms and shoulders brushing. He just had to lean in to kiss Stan right now and he holds his breath.

"Not talking with you for three years was horrible,“ Kyle confesses. "This is better than nothing.“

Stan doesn’t say anything and then nods. "I broke up with Gary.“

" _What_?“ Okay, he had _not_ seen this coming.

"Like you said, we are finally talking again and… God, hear me out, okay? Everyone thinks they know everything about us and I’m a dick because I’m not with you, but it’s not that easy, alright?“

"You’re not a dick.“

"You thought I was!“

"Yeah,  _I_  was a dick!“, Kyle shouts. "I was angry at you because you weren’t straight after all, but I have no right to be! It’s not like you’re obligated to be gay for _me_  when you like guys too.“

Stan laughs. "But I am.“

"What?“

"That’s the thing. Right after I told you I’m straight and can’t return your feelings… I felt miserable at Virginia without you. I realized too fucking late that I  _do_ have feelings for you.“

"Stan-"

"No, please. Hear me out.“ Stan takes Kyle’s hand in his and Kyle lets out a gasp. He was holding Stan's hand! For the first time he was really holding it! Kyle looks down and then entwines their fingers, making Stan's lips curl into a smile. "I realized that I loved you too. I just felt so stupid, because it was too late. I’m a horrible person who picked the wrong choice, when you gave me one. I regretted it, but I didn’t take you back, because I thought you’re better off without me.“

" _What_? Stan, that sounds stupid.“

"I know! You were with David and I thought you’re happy with him. I thought you gave up so much for him, when in reality, you gave up so much for  _me_. And I hated myself for it.“

Kyle takes Stan’s face in his hands. "Is this some sort of 'I don’t deserve you‘ bullshit?“ He can't believe this is happening right now. He has waited so long for this. Eleven years. He had loved him for about ten years now and probably longer.

"Maybe?“

"Oh my god. You’re just as bad as Kenny and Cartman.“

Stan winces. "Don’t compare me to them.“ He sighs. "When I realized that I like guys too… Well, I was pining so long after you that I felt stupid after a while. Like, we haven’t talked, we will probably never talk and I could never be with you. And then there was Gary, and he’s a nice guy, he’s perfect.“

"I know,“ Kyle says. "The one you don’t deserve is  _him_.“

Stan laughs. "Thanks, dude.“

"What changed your mind?“

"You. Seeing you again and talking with you… I realized that it might not be  _too_  late. I mean, better late than never, right?“ Stan grins and Kyle buries his face in Stan’s chest. Hearing these words made him so happy. He had to hide his stupid smile and blush right now and the fact that he just _could_ was better.

"You’re an idiot!“

"But I’m  _your_ idiot… if you still want me to be.“

"Of course, dude.“

Kyle lets out something that sounds like a cry. To be honest, it's kind of embarrassing, that sound that's coming out of the back of his throat. He doesn't care about it right now, though. He finally has gotten Stan to confess his love to him and now he was here right in front of him, his face only a few inches away from Kyle's.

He looks into Stan's deep blue eyes and then they just naturally kiss. It's not that Kyle kissed Stan or Stan kissed Kyle, they just leaned in at the same time to place their lips on the other's. Kyle closes his eyes immediately and lets the feeling of Stan's lips against his wash through his body.

It's like his skin is on fire, because of how excited he was. He doesn't think he has been waiting for anything as long as he had for this one kiss. His hands grab onto Stan's shirt and he pulls him closer, opening his mouth at the same time. He breathes out, Stan's one hand is on his waist, the other is on Kyle's knee. He brings it up, so that Kyle's legs are now over Stan's lap.

Kyle throws his arms around Stan's neck, curls his fingers in his best friend's dark hair and takes Stan's bottom lips between his. He bites down gently, making Stan hiss and pull him closer now too.

"I love you," Stan says, when they part for a short while and before Kyle can reply, Stan kisses him again, their tongue meeting. Kyle tilts his head to the right side to deepen the kiss and moans.

"I love you too, dude."

He sits up and slides down on Stan's laps, practically straddling him now.

"God," Stan whispers, when he looks up to Kyle. His hands slide to the back of Kyle's pants and he grabs his ass, making Kyle smile. "I missed you so much, dude." His kisses wander down to Kyle's neck.

"I know. Me too. I missed you..." Kyle closes his eyes again, enjoying how Stan is kissing, licking and sucking on his skin. He wants him to leave a god damn hickey. That has always been a secret wish of Kyle when they were together in High School. He had wanted Stan to mark Kyle and for Kyle to walk around proudly with it, so everyone knew he was with Stan. "So much... These past three years were awful."

"The worst," Stan agrees, looking up at him again. When their lips meet again, Kyle starts moving his hips against Stan's.

"Fuck." Stan groans, parting again. His mouth is next to Kyle's ear and Kyle can feel Stan's breath against it. He can feel it and hear the amazing sounds Stan makes as Kyle eagerly does it again, making Stan hard by doing so.

So this is what Stan sounds like when he's aroused. Now he knows.

"Kyle," Stan moans and then suddenly, Kyle's on his back and Stan is on top of him. He's too surprised and hasn't seen it coming, but he's not complaining. His legs and arms immediately wrap around Stan and he starts tugging at his shirt.

"Take it off," he says.

"Did you forget I’m here, Broflovski?“ _Fuck._ He and Stan immediately jerk away from each other and Kyle can feel his face getting hotter. He was probably looking like a tomato right now, with his red hair and face.

"What the fuck!“, Stan shouts.

"Yeah, I actually did forget.“ Kyle looks down. God, this was embarrassing.

Craig flips him off. "Whatever. Don’t forget to use condoms.“ Kyle wants to die right now, immediately. Craig walks out of his room and then Kyle finally dares to look up again and into Stan's eyes.

"What was that?"

"Uh... he visited me today and we wanted to, you know, actually study, but we didn't and then he told me that you told him you liked me and I was super confused and then I heard you at my door and I was even _more_ confused. Anyway, I couldn't think straight and told Craig to, you know, hide in the closet?"

"Oh my god." Stan groans and buries his face in his hands. "How can you forget that?"

"I don't know! Maybe because you're right in front of me and I can't think of anyone else?" God, could this get any worse?

"That's cute," Stan says, grinning. "But, dude. What if it hadn't been Craig?"

"Huh?"

"Like, what if Craig would have some kind of kink, you know? I bet Kenny wouldn't have stepped out of the closet like Craig did. He probably would've full on watched the whole show and jerked himself off to us having sex."

Kyle stared at Stan, who was smiling to indicate he was just joking. Kyle cleared his throat. "So, uh, you. Ah... We were going to have... sex?"

Now Stan was embarrassed too. He looked down. "I- I mean. No. I guess. I don't know? If you... want to?"

Kyle laughed. "Come here." Stan crawls to Kyle and now he's on top of him again. "I've wanted to do this forever. I've never wanted anyone else."

"Uh, David?"

Kyle sighs. "I loved him, but no. I never really wanted him. Not in the way I want you."

Stan smiles at those words. "How do you _want_ me?"

"I don't know. Forever. I guess, if that's an understandable answer."

"Dude, of course. I want you like that too." They kiss again, a sloppy and wet short kiss. "I don't think I've ever been with a person and thought that I wanted to be with them forever."

Kyle bites down on his lower lip and can't hide his big smile. It's nice that Stan smiles at him the same way. A big, goofy smile. A Stan Marsh smile, that's reserved for him, and him only. His fingers slide through Stan's short hair, who closes his eyes.

"I've missed this so much," he says. "I've imagined you doing this to me so many times. I- uh, I've always liked it when you do this."

Kyle chuckles and then he tugs at Stan's hair, tilting his head so he can kiss him.

"Sorry," Stan says.

"Huh?"

"I've just noticed this will most likely be a hickey," Stan explains. His fingers spread over the place on Kyle's neck he had sucked on before.

Kyle grins. "Good."

" _Good_?"

"I like the idea of being marked by you," Kyle confessed, his face heating up. Stan grins, kissing Kyle's nose.

"Good, I'll mark you all over from now on. By the way... does this by any chance mean you're into... PDA?"

"Oh my god." Kyle winces. "What is it with you and showing your love in front of everyone?"

"Aw man, why does _everybody_ hate it?", Stan complains and Kyle rolls his eyes.

"Because we don't want to be like Token and Clyde are now."

"How are they?"

"Annoying. Trust me."Stan pouts and Kyle laughs before kissing Stan's pouty lips. Kyle hooks his leg around Stan's waist again and brings Stan down, so that his body is now on top of Kyle's.

"Am I too heavy?", Stan asked, grinning and wiggled.

Kyle starts laughing. "Yeah, you've got fat over the years." A complete lie. If any, Stan just have gotten more fit, which makes Kyle kind of self-conscious about his body.

"As long as you love me," Stan says before leaning in to kiss him again. Their tongues brush and with every kiss, it gets more heated. Kyle whimpers, when Stan seems to not let their make out session go any further. He parts and tugs at Stan's shirt.

"Huh?"

"What part of 'I want you' haven't you understand?", Kyle asks him. Stan grins, sitting back and takes of his shirt. Holy shit. Kyle gulps, taking in Stan's shirtless body in. Of course he has seen Stan shirtless so many times, but that had been years ago and they've kind of still been kids back then, eighteen. Stan was a man now and a really handsome one on top of it.

Kyle sits up too, his hands touching Stan's naked skin. "You're..."

"... asking myself why you still have yours on? Yeah." Stan laughs and takes off Kyle's shirt. He feels so plain next to him, too pale, his body full of freckles and he feels like he's too chubby. Kyle has hated his freckles ever since he first got them. He never had any when he was a child, so where did they fucking come from?

Kyle looks down, flushed. "Let me see you," Stan says and tilts Kyle's head up again so their eyes meet. "You know what is also on my list of things I've always wanted to do?"

"What?"

Stan kisses his shoulder. "Kiss every single one of your freckles."

"Dude," Kyle says. "That's pretty gay." He can't hide his big smile, though.

"If you insist," Stan replies, shrugging. "I really like them."

"Yeah?"

"Of course, dude." Stan grins and kisses Kyle's face over and over again, planting gently kisses on them. Kyle starts laughing and then cups Stan's face in his hand to kiss him on the lips, slowly licking into Stan's mouth. He shifts so that he's sitting on Stan's lap, his legs around Stan's waist.

"You know what I love too?"

"I should've known you're so fucking cheesy," Kyle says. It wasn't like he didn't like it, no. He actually loved it, it was better than anything he has ever imagined.

"I don't know if thinking your ass is fucking perfect is cheesy, though," Stan replies and Kyle stares at him before laughing again.

"Not you too."

"Of course. Everybody thinks your ass is great." Stan puts his hand firmly on Kyle's ass, lifting him up and then they slide in Kyle's jeans. "I've thought about that perfect ass of yours so many times."

"Oh my god." Kyle groans and buries his head in Stan's shoulder.

"I would wear your ass as a hat for all eternity," Stan mocks him with Bebe's word he once had to read out in front of the whole class.

"I fucking hate you," Kyle says.

"Really?" Stan tilts his head before bringing his hands to the front of Kyle's jeans and unzips the fly.

"Yeah." Kyle nods, even though he's panting heavily under the wet kisses Stan plants on his chest. He flips Kyle over so he's under him again and then Stan's kisses trail further down, while he takes off Kyle's jeans at the same time.

" _Really_?"

"Uh-huh," Kyle replies. Stan smirks and his one hand slides in Kyle's boxer shorts. "Fuck." Stan's fingers curl around Kyle's dick and gives him some slow pumps. Kyle hisses at his touch and his hands glide over Stan's shoulder, digging his fingers in them. Kyle's hard now and he can even feel Stan's erection against his thigh.

"Changed your mind yet?"

"Nope."

Stan laughs and opens the fly of his pants too. Kyle's just too eager to help him kick off his pants and boxer shorts so Stan doesn't need to use both of his hands.

"Just say you love me."

"You know I- ah- do, idiot." Kyle closes his eyes and bites down on his lower lip when they're completely naked now and Stan brings their dicks together.

"Do you have lube?", Stan asks him instead.

"Uh- yeah. In my drawer, I think, somewhere."

"Good." Kyle opens his eyes again to see Stan try to reach for the drawer. His eyes don't leave Kyle though, while his one hand searches for the lube.

"So... you..." Stan hesitates and draws back his hand, which makes Kyle whimper in protest. "If this is okay..."

"Of course it is," Kyle replies.

"Say it."

"I love you."

Stan smiles and kisses him. "Love you too." He puts some lube on his fingers and Kyle opens his legs for Stan. But instead of feeling Stan's fingers, Stan's lips are on his dick now.

"Oh my god."

"I'm going to open you up now," Stan explains. Kyle just nods weakly, he really can't think straight right now, because Stan is dragging his tongue over Kyle's shaft. "I've never had a circumcised dick before."

"Stan!", Kyle shouts. "You're- god. How many have you _had_?"

Stan flushes a moment. "Uh. I think, like four?" Then, he continues and he presses his lubed finger against Kyle's hole.

Four. Stan has had much more guys than Kyle had, not even counting the girls. Kyle had thought Stan only had Gary as a guy, but that was apparently not true. Huh, Kyle only had David and some other guy so far.

He had always wanted to be Stan's first, but he also had wanted Stan to be his first. It was too late for that now, but at least they had each other now.

Stan's good at this. He's opening up Kyle with his fingers and at the same time he's sucking him off. Kind of teasing Kyle, though, which makes Kyle curse and dig his fingers into Stan's dark hair and tilt his head back.

His boyfriend- was he even his boyfriend now?- takes in Kyle's dick inch by inch. Kyle's impressed how he manages to do that so easily. He starts bopping his head and when Kyle looks down, he is almost about to come. He's in Stan's mouth now and Stan's fingers are in him and Stan looks so beautiful from this angle, his lips red around Kyle's dick.

"Fuck..." Kyle groans. "Stan... I'm about to come... Stop-" When Stan doesn't stop, Kyle tugs at his hair. "Fuck me."

"What?"

"Just do it, please."

"Uh, you got condoms?"

Kyle stares up to him and opens his mouth. "No." He'd say he doesn't care for one, but he's not stupid and who knows with whom Stan has been?

"Well, I do. Wait." When Stan leaves him, Kyle lets out a cry. He feels so empty now.

"Hurry up, Stan, please."

"Fuck. Kyle, don't say it like that or I'll- Ah, yeah." Stan opens the wallet that was in his jeans and brings out a condom, quickly ripping it apart. He unrolls it all the way to the base of his dick and Kyle already has spread lube on his fingers. He applies it over the condom as quickly as he can and then lets himself fall back, spreading his legs.

"Mh, someone's eager, aren't we?"

"I've waited like over ten years, of course I am," Kyle replies. "Please, Stan. Don't tease me."

Stan chuckles. "I couldn't, even if I wanted." He takes Kyle's legs and throws them over his shoulder. "Hold on to me."

It had been so long since Kyle has had sex with anyone, the last time probably being about a year ago with some guy from college. He wraps his arms around Stan's neck and then Stan slowly slides in him.

Kyle closes his eyes, pressing his lips together and tightens his grip around Stan. When Stan is all the way in, he holds his breath. He opens his eyes and Stan puts his forehead against Kyle's.

"You feel so great," he tells him and Kyle smiles. "Better than I imagined."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You can move now," Kyle tells him. "Just- go slow first, okay?"

"'Course." Stan kisses him quickly, a short and sloppy kiss, that's too wet, making their saliva drip. It's messy and would be disgusting, probably, if Kyle wouldn't be too aroused right now with Stan deep in him and starting to thrust.

Stan's just like he thought he would be, though. Super gentle and slow, looking him in the eyes and not breaking off their eye contact. With every thrust, he loses a little bit of his gentleness.

"Faster," Kyle tells him and Stan does so. Soon after that he has found a quick rhythm, and Kyle starts to moan. Their breathes are heavily and Kyle doesn't care about the fact that his mom is downstairs and Ike's in the room next to them. He has waited so long for this, he doesn't want to hold back anymore.

"Touch yourself," Stan tells him and Kyle weakly wraps hid hand around his length.

"Stan," he whimpers and Stan groans.

"God, you're so amazing. I wish you could see yourself right now."

Kyle screams Stan's name again, and Stan thrusts harder and deeper in him. He hits _that_ spot and Kyle's a mess now, panting and screaming. Stan's on edge too, and bites down on Kyle's shoulder.

"Oh god, Kyle," he moans, when their mouths are so close to each other again. He kisses Kyle right before Kyle comes and after a few more thrusts, Stan does too.

He stays in Kyle for a moment, both of them too breathless to move or say anything. After a while, their heavy pants weaken. "Wow," Stan says.

"Yeah." Kyle grins and Stan draws back and falls right next to Kyle on his back. His hand slides over his stomach, and then holds it up.

"We should clean ourselves up," he says, looking at the cum from his hand.

Kyle flushes. "Don't... look at my- god, _Stan_." He groans and searches for some tissues in his drawer and throws them to Stan who then wipes his hand and stomach. "Let's go shower."

"Already?"

"My stamina is great," Kyle replies and Stan grins.

"Does this shout for shower sex?"

"No, shower sex is awful. It's dangerous and slippery and too cramped and nothing good comes from it," Kyle shoots back and Stan laughs.

"Okay, then let's just shower," Stan replies. "But together."

"Do you even _know_ how small our shower is? You're too fucking huge!"

"Aw, come on Kyle!"

Kyle rolls his eyes, but smiles. "Okay, dude. But don't complain if I smash my elbow into your ribs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw there are going to be 11 chapters now :)


	10. Back to the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle hugs him and Stan grins. "I thought you're not into that."
> 
> "Stan, we won't see each other for like, half a year," Kyle replies. "I'll miss you so much. I just got you back."
> 
> "I know." Stan nods and hugs his boyfriend back. He wishes they would've had more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is literally the name to a movie but who cares i fucking love this movie

  
**STAN**

"See, Stan? That's why we don't do it." Kyle points at Kenny and Butters.

Butters is on Kenny's lap and they're making out as if nobody but them is in the room.

"Okay," Stan agrees. "But that's not the kind of PDA I'm into."

Kyle laughs. Yeah, Butters and Kenny were awful when it comes to showing their relationship in public, but maybe it's because they've waited for it so long too, just like he and Kyle have. Maybe it'll die down after a few weeks of being together? Who knows.

"So, Wendy said she and her girls will come by in half an hour and- Aw man, are you fucking serious?!" Cartman has just emerged from the kitchen with two big bowls full of potato chips. "Is this really necessary?"

Butters and Kenny finally part and Butters' face is flushed while Kenny just grins. "Yes, Cartman, it is," Kenny replies. "You would too, if Wendy would be here."

"No, I fucking wouldn't! Can't you behave? It's still my home! Man, you're horny bastards, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Kyle and Stan are behaving better than you and they've been gay for each other since they were babies," Cartman shoots back.

"Aw, Eric, I'm really sorry!" Butters wants to crawl down from Kenny's lap, but his boyfriend wraps his arms around Butters' waist.

"At least you two aren't like that," Cartman murmurs and sits down next to Kyle.

Stan still can't believe that Cartman really has changed over the years and doesn't make anti semitic jokes towards Kyle anymore. They still argue a lot, but probably more out of habit now. They are getting along now, kind of, which is weird. Stan wishes he wouldn't have ignored them for so long, because then he would've witnessed their friendship progress a little bit.

"Nah, Kyle would kill me if I’d kiss him in public," Stan agrees.

"That's not true!“

"So I can kiss you now?"

"No."

Stan sighs and Cartman laughs. "So, the party starts in an hour. Do we wanna be late or on time?"

"Trust me, when Wendy says 'half an hour', it'll take her one hour to get here," Stan replies. "I mean, she's always on time, but Bebe isn't."

"You know, I hate that you know more about that from my girlfriend than I do," Cartman growls, but he's smiling.

They all have kind of found their happy ending, but it makes Stan feel bad for Gary. He still really cares for him and part of him still loves Gary, but that part will never be as big as his love for Kyle. He knows he has done the right thing and just hopes for Gary to find his happiness too.

Oh, and get that one TV show role he has talked about the other day.

* * *

 

"Have you two seen Craig?", Tweek asks them.

"Yeah, he's at the pool as far as I know," Kyle replies and Tweek nods, before disappearing.

Kyle turns around to Stan again. "You know, I don't trust you too much around alcohol," he tells him and Style laughs.

"I'm okay," he promises. They're standing in Token's big living room, it's dark and there are so many people around them, talking and dancing on the dance floor. Kyle did not want to dance, which doesn't surprise Stan. Instead, they're at the side, watching them and drinking shots from the windowsill.

"Really?"

"You're here right now," Stan replies. "Of course I'm okay."

"Cheesy. But I'll let it slip for now," Kyle says, smiling.

"Can I kiss you?"

Kyle laughs and nods. Stan leans down to kiss his boyfriend. Boyfriend. It sounded so good and he can't wait to introduce him to his other friends one time. Okay, they'll probably don't like Kyle at first that much, because most of Stan's friends were also Gary's friends... It would be just like when Stan introduced Gary to his old South Park friends.

But Kyle was amazing. They can't hate him and if his friends see how much Stan loves him, they'll understand, right?

And if not, then who cares about them anyway?

"Want another shot?", Kyle asks him.

"Okay." Stan grins and then someone approaches them. It's Tweek, who looks kind of disturbed.

"Argh! I want one too!"

"Uh, sure." Kyle pours them all drinks in and then hands them out. They all drink it quickly and Stan coughs.

"Kyle, you know I fucking hate pure Vodka!"

"And you know I hate Jägermeister," Kyle replies.

"Another one!" Tweek hands Kyle back his cup. "I- I don't care which one! I'm fine with both!"

Kyle and Stan exchange glances and Stan shrugs. Kyle pours the blond boy some Jägermeister. "So, where's Craig? Aren't you going to hang out with him?"

"What? Ah! No, I d-don't... He's busy right now. I don't want to talk about him." He seems to be upset about something and Tweek downs his drink again.

"Is everything okay?", Stan asks, cautiously.

"Yes! Another!"

"Uh..." Kyle tilts his head and then sighs. "Okay, whatever. Three shots have never killed anyone."

"You don't wanna join?", Tweek asks and Stan grins.

"Of course, dude." He claps Tweek on the shoulder. He's even shorter than Kyle which is weird, because Craig is taller than Stan. These two would have the biggest height difference. Craig still dislikes Stan, but that's okay, because Stan's pretty indifferent about him. To be honest, those two have always been that way and Stan's happy Kyle has found a good friend.

Yeah, Craig was a dick, but he was also a loyal friend.

They drink for a while together, talking and joking. Tweek's cool, he hasn't changed much, though. Kyle has told Stan that he had, he wasn't as paranoid and twitchy anymore, but in Stan's eyes he still was. Maybe it was the alcohol? After some while, Tweek tells them he'll look for Craig and disappears, leaving Kyle and Stan alone again.

"So... You wanna dance?" Stan grins and Kyle shakes his head.

"No, if you don't want to be totally embarrassed," Kyle replies.

"I don't care."

"Oh, you do!"

"Have you seen Tweek?“, Craig asks them.

Kyle looks to Stan, who nods. "Yeah, we’ve been with him for some time.“

"What?“ Craig seems to be confused and Kyle shrugs.

"That was a while ago, though. He arrived about an hour ago and then was searching for you. I told him you were at the pool and then he was looking for you. Came back a short time after that again and was somehow pissed and started drinking with us,“ Kyle explained and pointed at the empty shot glasses that were in front of them. "He drank a lot. Later, he said he was going to look for you again and left. Haven’t seen him ever since.“

"What pissed him off?“, Craig asks and Kenny starts laughing.

"Are you stupid? He saw you with Thomas, of course he was pissed!“ Kenny sighs and puts his hand on Craig’s shoulder. "That’s how it went: He saw you with Thomas, was jealous, returned, got hammered, went back, saw you and Thomas still talking and even about how you asked him out back then and he turned you down. He got even more jealous and then ran away, because he’s a drama queen and drunk.“

Thomas? Wasn't that Gary's ex boyfriend? Stan tries to remember his High School years. Wait, haven't Craig and Thomas also been a thing back then? Was that before or after Gary?

"Why… would he be jealous?“

Stan and Kyle exchange glances, before Kyle clears his throat. Oh my god, was he for real? Craig was even more oblivious than Stan was. He pinches the bridge of his nose. He can't believe that guy.

"Uh, why do you think he is?“, Kyle asks.

"Whatever, so you don’t know where he is right now?“

"He could be anywhere. Probably not home, he was drunk and got here with his car,“ Kyle says.

Craig runs off quickly and then Stan looks to Kyle. "Uh... did something happen?"

Kyle shrugs. "I'll ask him later about this. But first..." He points at his glass. "Let's have one last shot and then I'll dance with you."

"Seriously?"

Kyle grins. "Yeah, I'm super serious."

"I hope I don't see Gary on the plane," Stan murmurs.

"You know, you'll see him sooner or later," Kyle says. Stan winces. He knows, he will. They are in some classes together, they have the same friends. Plus, he still had to get all of his stuff from their shared dorm. Oh god, dating your close friend was really a bad idea once it was over.

Not with Kyle, though.

* * *

 

Kyle hugs him and Stan grins. "I thought you're not into that."

"Stan, we won't see each other for like, half a year," Kyle replies. "I'll miss you so much. I just got you back."

"I know." Stan nods and hugs his boyfriend back. He wishes they would've had more time. He kisses Kyle deeply and pulls him even closer. Who cares about the people around them? And homophobic people could kiss his ass.

"I love you," Kyle says. "Call me."

"I will call and text you so often that you're going to be annoyed. I'll annoy you and all your friends," Stan promises and Kyle laughs.

"Damn, we'll be like Token and Clyde."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Kyle grins and then kisses him again.

Stan's mom clears her throat. "I know this is really hard for you guys, but Stan, you have to go."

Stan sighs and nods. He knows he has to, but he doesn't want to. He hates good byes, but at least they got one this time. He and Kyle step back and then Stan hugs his mother, sister and father.

"Until next year, turd," Shelly says.

"Next year? You'll come back sooner, right?", Kyle asks.

"Of course. Or, you know, you could still transfer to Virginia." Stan grins and Kyle nods.

"I'll try. I promise."

"Okay. See you then. I love you, guys. I'll call you as soon as I arrive!" Stan turns around and it hurts so much, but before he goes, Kyle grabs his arm and turns him around again to plant a kiss on his mouth. It's very heated and passionate. Stan even lifts Kyle up, who wraps his legs around Stan's waist.

"Sorry," Kyle said, when they part. "One last time."

Stan grins. "There are kids here, you know. But don't apologize." He lets Kyle down and kisses his cheek. "This time it's not for three years."

"I know." Kyle smiles and Stan has to hold back his tears. "Don't cry, Stan, or I have too. Just go."

Stan laughs. "Okay. See you."

Long distance relationships suck, but he knows they can do it.

* * *

 

**KYLE**

He already misses Stan so much it hurts.

What makes it worse was Butters and Kenny. Kenny is almost all the time here nowadays, when he doesn't have to go to work. Since Kyle and Butters share a dorm, he has to be somewhere else all the time.

He's either at the library or at Clyde and Craig's place.

It's not better there, to be honest. Clyde talks with Token on the phone all the time and Craig sulks about Tweek, because apparently Tweek didn't love him back (yeah, as if).

Kyle and Stan talk over the phone often too, every day for at least one hour, but it wasn't enough. He wants to have him next to him every night and kiss him and feel him. He felt so fucking lonely and can't imagine how he will survive this whole semester.

He did, however file in a transfer request and hopes Virginia wants to take him back after he turned them down the first time. He and Stan already talk about their future again and it's like six years ago, when they were little kids and first planned it.

This time it was different, though. This time they didn't talk about moving into a dorm together, no. This time, they want to live in a small apartment, and this time they're actually a couple.

Phone and Webcam sex was kind of new to Kyle and it was strange at first, but they're getting more comfortable with it.

Kyle's at the library again and looks at his phone. Stan is probably asleep already. Screw the time zones. He sighs and looks back to his book.

"Hey." A familiar voice greets him. Kyle looks up to see David standing in front of him.

"Hey." Kyle smiles. They haven't talked since that one incident at Skeeter's when David punched Stan to defend Kyle. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Can I... uh, sit here?"

"Yeah." Kyle nods. Actually, they haven't properly talked since their break up, which was years ago.

David sits down next to him. "I wanted to talk."

"Okay..."

"I guess, I should apologize. For, you know, just stepping in your fight. it wasn't my place to. Plus, I'm sorry I hit your boyfriend."

Kyle laughs. "It's okay. And Stan kind of deserved it back then, he had been a dick."

David laughs too. "Yeah, to be honest, I'm not really that sorry." Kyle grins. "Anyway, I heard you and him are finally together now. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you. And yeah, it took us a while, huh?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Back then, at prom... You told him, right? About your feelings?"

Kyle looks down at his book again and nods. "Yeah. I'm sorry, David. I loved you, I really did, but Stan..."

"Tell me, was that the reason you even went to CSU? It wasn't me, right? I've never been the reason why."

Kyle cringes. "You were the reason! I mean, part of it. Like, a quarter. Oh god, I'm sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn't have been with you while I was in love with my best friend, right?"

David shakes his head, laughing. "Kyle, it's okay. It's been years now and I don't regret it. I'm glad we were together, those were nice years."

Kyle smiles at him. Yeah, they have been. He has been Kyle's first boyfriend and so many other first things. "Yeah, they have."

"It was kind of asshole-ish, though," David admits. "But whatever, it's okay."

Kyle laughs. "I'm glad we're talking now. How have you been anyway?"

David hesitates at first and then shrugs. "I'm good. I've been dating someone too, actually, we've been together for a long time. Maybe you even know him."

"Someone from college?"

"Nope, he already graduated this year. But yeah, someone from South Park." David grins.

"Okay, now you have my attention. Who is it?"

"Mike Makowski. You know him? He moved away."

Kyle stares at him and then bursts out laughing. He remembers Butters telling them about two months ago that he has met that guy. "Yeah. He used to pretend to be a vampire."

"Oh god, I know. He showed me pictures of his vampire phase, it's fucking embarrassing." David chuckles.

"So... how long have you been together now?"

"Uh, almost a year I guess." David shrugs and Kyle smiles.

"And you're happy?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm glad we both finally, you know. Found our happiness. God, punch me, that sounded so cheesy like straight out of a bad movie. One of those you like."

"Hey, my taste in movies is great!", David defends himself and Kyle just rolls his eyes.

He's really happy for David. Maybe someday Gary will find his happiness too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u all think i mentioned mike makowski in like chapter four for literally no reason?  
> nah all i do is for a reason (okay. mostly). mike/david is such a crackship its hilarious. srsly. imagine mike showing david his fangs from his vamp phase and trying to bite david and david's all like "wtf what kind of white ppl shit is this" but he still loves his bf


	11. Look into the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go the last chapter

**KYLE**

"You know for someone who leaves us, you should look much sadder," Clyde says and Kyle rolls his eyes. 

"You'd be happy too," he replies and Clyde nods. 

"Now I'm the only one with a long distance relationship left. That sucks." He crosses his arms and pouts. Craig nudges him with his side. 

"Also the only one whose boyfriend can afford a plane ticket to just casually fly by," he adds and Clyde laughs. It was true, though. Token's present for Clyde's birthday this year was even a world trip and as far as Kyle knew they're going to start in two days. 

He'd be jealous, if he wouldn't see Stan in less than 24 hours soon.

"I will miss you," Kyle says. "Thanks for everything."

"For what?" Craig raises his eyebrow and Kyle smiles. 

"For just taking me in after David and I broke up and never complaining that I spent almost all the time in your room," he explains and Craig laughs. 

"We did complain."

 "Of course, Kyle! You're our friend!" Butters hugs him and Kenny does too. Now that Kyle was moving out of Butters' room, Butters was too. He and Kenny are also moving in together in a small flat. 

Clyde does too, and now he even has tears in his eyes. Kyle hugs him back tightly. He will miss them all, without them, he couldn't have made the past four years. Four years without Stan would've seriously been unbearable if he wouldn't have had these great friends.

 Tweek is there too, since he and Craig have been dating for about half a year now too. 

"Ey! Don't forget me!" Cartman runs towards them, out of breath.

"I thought you'd never come," Kyle replies. And Cartman. Yeah, he was a dick, but he had become a lot more bearable. He thanks Wendy for that.

 "Have fun in Virginia. Say hi to Stan. Don't hump each other immediately when you see each other in the airport, there are children," Cartman tells him and Kyle rolls his eyes. 

It will be hard, though. It's been about five months since he has seen Stan. He was really sexually frustrated. 

"Eric, I think Kyle has some manners," Kyle's mom says and now Kyle turns to his family to hug them goodbye. His parents hug him and he's not too embarrassed by it. He'll leave them for a pretty long time.

He looks up to Ike. Damn, why was his younger brother so much taller? Probably because they weren't even biologically related to each other... "You have fun at your last year of High School. Wish I could be there and witness it."

Ike lets out a laughter. "Thank you. And you too. Say hi to Stan for me."

"I will," Kyle promises and then hugs him. "And don't forget to decide."

He can see Ike blush under his glasses, when they part. Yeah, apparently he had two admirers at the same time right now, some guy named Filmore Anderson and the other one being that Firkle Goth kid. 

Ah yes, High School, back then when there had been so much drama. Not that much has changed. 

"Okay, I have to go now! See you probably next year!" Kyle waves to them one last time. He was sad, but his excitement towards Stan and their future together was bigger. 

This is how it should've been, four years ago. But better late than never, right? 

* * *

* * *

 

**STAN**

He kind of felt stupid now.

 He was alone in the airport. He had thought about maybe taking one of his friends with him, because they were all too eager to finally meet that Kyle he was talking about all the time. They all weren't too convinced, because they all were friends with Gary too, but they all wanted to give Kyle a chance.

Especially after Stan told them so many of their crazy adventures they used to have.

As for Gary... They're kind of on speaking terms again. Not that he sees him so often nowadays, his acting career is finally taking off. Stan's happy for him. 

The reason he wanted to be alone when he finally sees Kyle again after so many months is because he wanted him all for himself. And now here he was, alone in the airport with five floating balloons, flowers and a sign, that had Kyle's name written on it. 

People are giving him weird looks. Probably asking themselves whether or not Kyle was maybe a girl, since he had also drawn hearts on the sign. Wow, maybe this was a bad idea after all. Stan sighs and looks down. Maybe Kyle thinks it's stupid. He should get rid of it before- 

"Stan!" 

Stan looks up to see his boyfriend. He smiles and when Kyle runs towards him, he drops the sign and the flowers to open his arms and lift him up, hugging him tightly to his chest. 

"Kyle!" He kisses him for the first time in months and god, he has forgotten how it felt. It was so much better than he thought it would be. Their last kiss had been like this too, in the airport with him lifting up Kyle. 

He lets Kyle down again just to rest his forehead against him. They're smiling brightly at each other and Stan kisses him again. "I've missed you so much."

"I know. These past months were worse than the three years," Kyle agrees and Stan nods. Yeah, they really had been. Then, he hugs him again, tugging Kyle's under his chin and kisses the top of Kyle's head. 

"You smell so good. I missed this." Kyle hums, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Stan's waist. 

"And I missed your hair. It's so fluffy." Kyle laughs and looks up. He stands up on his tip toes and gives Stan a short and sweet kiss. 

"So... Nice balloons." 

"And flowers," Stan adds. He picks them up to give them to him. 

"And a sign. You're such a romantic," Kyle teases and takes the flowers. "Thank you." 

"Anything for you, dude." Kyle laughs again and then he takes Stan's hand. They entwine their fingers automatically and look at each other with big grins. "So, you wanna see our flat?"

"It better not look different from the video footage you send me," Kyle warns him. 

"Aw, it has me in it. That's enough, isn't it?" 

"As long as it already has a bed." Kyle shrugs and Stan hesitates. 

"Uh, it has... a mattress." 

"Oh god." Kyle groans. "That'll do too." 

Stan grins and squeezes Kyle's hand. "Got something on your mind?" 

"There's only some amount of cam and phone sex one person can have until they explode from sexual frustration," Kyle explains and Stan laughs.

 "Good, let's get a cab then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it!!! it was nice writing this story and thanks for all the comments and kudos!!!!  
> btw look out i have another fic idea so i'll post it asap (i havent even written it yet) (it's just a one shot. also creek. hint: fractured but whole AU ;) )  
> anyway!!!!  
> also check out my tumblr [@kylebroflovskis](http://redrobin.co.vu)  
> and my askblog [@askrubytucker](http://askrubytucker.tumblr.com) which literally contains all the same ships like this fic except for candy (SORRY CANDY SHIPPERS)


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